Sobriety

I never thought it would be possible. The thought of going through life without getting high or drunk just seemed surreal to me. Every time I would go a few hours without a substance in my bloodstream, I was immediately sent into withdrawal. I don’t know what was worse: the physical aches in my muscles that kept me from sleeping or the voice inside my head that drove me further into depression. Nevertheless, I somehow got through it and on January 7th, 2012, I got sober; but most importantly, I STAYED sober.

I was around 12 years old the first time I experimented with drugs and alcohol. From the first hit to the first drink, the “light switch” was turned on. This is to say I loved getting high from the first experience and I was immediately addicted. What started out as an innocent mistake that adolescents tend to make turned into an addiction that almost killed me over time.

Throughout my teenage years, I did every drug that I could get my hands on. Cocaine, ecstasy, methamphetamine, LSD and prescription pills were just a few of the drugs I tried, but the one that brought me to my knees was heroin. Whether it was a powder I got on the streets or in a pill form called Oxycontin, I couldn’t get enough of it. The feeling that I got from intravenous drug use was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I spent thousands of dollars trying to feed my habit and no matter what I did, I couldn’t quit. I needed help.

Luckily, I came from a family who cared a great deal about me and was always there for me when I needed them. Both of my parents were very persistent in trying to get me the help I needed. I never acknowledged that I needed help until I was lying down on a bathroom floor vomiting blood. Being scared to death, I gave in and admitted that I needed their assistance.

I spent the Christmas of 2011 in a rehabilitation center. December 25th also happens to be my mom’s birthday. I can’t imagine all of the emotions she felt knowing her youngest son was almost lost to drug addiction, but she still came to visit me on her 54th birthday. I can still vividly see my parent’s faces as they sat in the small cafeteria of the facility waiting for me to walk in. It would be expected that they would be sad or angry due to this dire situation, but they were both smiling as I slowly entered the room and sat down at their table. They were happy to see that I was alive and healthy. Also, it was the first time in many years that they saw me sober.

After over 10 years in active addiction, I finally found the path of sobriety. There is a quote from the Alcoholics Anonymous “Big Book” that perfectly describes my addiction: “Alcohol/drugs gave me wings and then slowly took away my sky.” The substance that made me feel like I was on cloud 9 was also the same thing that crippled me in life. Thanks to my family and friends, I was able to break free from the chains of addiction and I am proud to say while I am writing this essay, I have 1168 days of sobriety.