This I Believe

Britney - Buda, Texas
Entered on September 8, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

Enjoy the Journey Not the Certainty

Oh, man. I get to see Cody today. He’s so pretty. Tee hee. Yesterday was soooo much fun. He’s amazing with the kids. Do I like him? Of course. The question is, how much? Ewww. What is she wearing? How much further do we have to go? I’m super nervous and tired of sitting in this freezing car. Church sign! What does it say? Enjoy the journey, not the certainty. Hmm…. Interesting concept.

Yay! We’re here! Oh God. Okay, remember as much sign language as possible. Say hi to everyone. Oh wait. There’s Cody. Here comes my goofy smile.

Oh, thank the Lord for lunch time. Britney, you have to quit being so flirty with Cody. Why? He better come over here and eat with me. Oh, child in need. Is that one hearing of deaf?

So, and afternoon shopping and eating lunch with Cody away from children is scary. I know he’s into me, but… he’s just… different. Now Britney you’ve met a lot of differents. But I like him. I really, really like him. Just have fun. Oh, what if he tries to kiss me?! Stop it!!! No worries, just go for it.

He kissed me. I… I think I’m getting attached. Damn it! Britney you know he’s leaving in a little over a week to go to college in effing Minnasota. What are you doing?

I’m happy with him. He makes me laugh. He’s stubborn and plays hard to get. Which drives me crazy but I completely love it at the same time. What about later? Just take it for what it is. Enjoy happiness while you can.

He’s gone. I can’t talk to him for three days. Freaking cell phones. Whatever. I think it’s near to impossible to build feelings for someone so strong to keep a long distance relationship in a week and talking for a while. Nothing’s certain. I want to know what’s going to happen before I risk it.

He’s pushing for commitment. He wants me to tell him that I’ll be his. Why not? At least I’ll have him.

This is hard. Long distance sucks. I hope Cody calls soon. He’s out meeting new friends playing frisbee golf Brit. It’ll be awhile.

He has feelings for another girl. Perfect. Britney you freaking knew better. He pushed for trust and shoved it in your face. Great. Either way what’s done is done.

If nothing else, you enjoyed the hell out of the journey, and threw certainty in the air to worry about itself. Live that life. No regrets. You made the most of it. Certainty will find it’s way to you again. Maybe it’ll be better to you next time.