Hold Tight to Who You Are, and Don’t Let Go

I believe that each one of us as individuals, makes a difference, and that we should hold tight to who we are at our core. I believe that values and self-worth are bred and not born. That we are influenced by others; those who love us and those who do us harm (either intentionally, or unintentionally). Yet, I believe deep within us, at our core, resides who we are and what we believe. Although we may be swayed at times, I say ‘hold tight to who you are, don’t let go’.

I believe that having confidence in oneself is a wonderful and empowering thing, but it is not an easy journey for some. Along the path of discovering my self-worth and who I am, I encountered stumbling blocks, hills, and roadblocks; mountains so high they stopped me dead in my tracks. My childhood was filled with taunts and teasing about how I looked, and what I wasn’t. Puberty brought confusion and disbelief about who I was. I felt betrayed by a body that was developed beyond its years that held a brain that, although intelligent, was not prepared for the ways of an adult world. As I matured, I quickly observed that others treated me as I allowed, rather than as they should; unfair but true. In a society where looks are everything, I in no way fit what was considered acceptable. Therefore, I faked confidence until I could build it for myself. Once attained, I held on tight and didn’t let go.

There have been times in my life where it was assumed by others that I was less, so I felt the need to be less, for their acceptance. I learned early on from my parents to take pride in who you are, and all you do, have integrity, and do your best. My father used to say ‘if you’re a garbage man, you be the best garbage man you can be.’ I believe that I should never have to diminish who I am, what I believe, and what I have for the benefit of others. So when I’m faced with negativity, I hold tight to who I am and don’t let go.

I believe confidence and belief in oneself is what fosters positive change; the belief that I, as one individual, can make a difference. I believe that whatever I do in a positive effort will produce a positive result. A result that doesn’t have to be monumental or publicly recognized; rather a personal sense of pride and accomplishment that further fuels my self-worth. I believe something positive can be found in any situation and we all make positive contributions, we just fail to accept them as important or beneficial. I believe that nobody is trivial; we all have value. I’m reminded of a story I recently heard of a teacher who acknowledged her students by giving them a ribbon that said “who I am makes a difference” and challenged them with spreading the word. One ribbon ended up being pinned to the chest of a supervisor from his employee who praised the supervisor for helping his career, then gave the supervisor a ribbon asking him to pass it on to whomever he thought was worthy. The supervisor went home and awarded the ribbon to his teenage son, and went on to apologize for letting his work take priority, praised his son and told him how proud he was of him. The son, unexpectedly began sobbing uncontrollably, then proceeded to tell his father that he had a suicide note upstairs and was going to kill himself that night, because he thought his father didn’t care about him and that he was a burden. Just that simple, brief conversation; sharing of positive praise, made a difference, fueled confidence, and saved a life. I believe that when negativity creeps into his thoughts, that conversation is something that son will hold tight, and won’t let go.

The legacy of my parents, my hard fought-for confidence, and belief in oneself, are the core values that I now pass along as a parent. When faced with teenaged peers who tease about you being less than – hold tight to who you are and don’t let go. When others tell you what you can’t do – hold tight, don’t let go. When others try to coerce you into doing wrong, when you know what’s right – hold tight, don’t let go. When the Dr. says you can’t when you know you can – hold tight, don’t let go. And when I’ve had a bad day when nothing went right, everything went wrong, and I can’t seem to muster the strength take another breath; I believe I should look in the mirror and say ‘hold tight, don’t let go’.