Unconditional Love of a Father

One month ago today my 18-year-old cousin passed away in a sudden car crash that left my family devastated with the first death in the immediate family. With every grandparent, aunt, uncle, and cousin outliving the youngest member of the Juhl family it was inevitable that everyone asked the question, “why Cole?”

My handsome baby cousin, Cole, was about to embark on his college experience at Benedictine University as a member of the men’s lacrosse team, but one tragic moment changed my family’s life forever. I can say with confidence that this loss has been the most difficult experience of the past 22 years of my life. How can someone so young, with so much life ahead of him and such a promising future have everything taken away from him in one sudden moment? Through this experience I firmly believe that God’s plan is always good and perfect.

For the past several years I have been living each day with the goal to not make a mistake. Growing up in the church I believed in God’s plan for my future, but I also believed that it was my duty through my works to figure out what this plan encompassed and live by these directions daily. It is human nature to be anxious about the mystery of our futures and desire to have answers instead. When we sit back and truly reflect on this fear of the unknown we realize that this kind of life is dangerous. Submitting to a God each and every day to lead us according to His plan means giving up our own selfish checklists and embarking on a journey of the unknown, which if we are completely honest is SCARY. This easy task of simply submitting to a God who is all-powerful becomes extremely difficult when bad things happen to those we love and when our dreams and desires do not match God’s plans. However, it is important to remember that He may not always answer our hearts desires in the way we imagined it, but He knows the core of what we desire and answers these according to what is truly best for us, despite how awful this situation may appear.

These thoughts constantly bring me back to that first question I asked when I heard the news about my cousin, “why Cole?” I have accepted that today, I do not have an answer to this question, but I stand firm in my belief that God has a perfect plan for my life and everyone who is in it. He is bigger than any desire or choice we can make and He knows the end from the beginning. He presents us with struggles in order to strengthen our relationship with Him. I believe that although I do not understand in this life how horrible situations can be considered “good” in the eyes of the Lord, I know that He is sovereign over all failures and all disappointments. Letting go of the fear of the unknown and trusting in a God who is not only all powerful and just, but also loving, forgiving, caring, and giving is the most rewarding feeling in life. So when times are tough and life does not seem fair, take comfort in the father we have that has created an individual plan for each of His children that is always GOOD.