Something Ordinary

Our existence is temporary. Time seems to escape us at an existentially faster rate as we mature and it is up to our own discretion on how we spend it. Hardship was a surreal concept to me and the “c” word had rarely crossed my mind. Although I harbored ties to the infamous word, I had never discerned its significance until it was directed at me. As I faced gray uncertainty I grew to more deeply appreciate life’s small gifts. Although remaining positive is not always easy, I cherish each moment and aim to make my existence meaningful. I believe in performing ordinary acts of love and opening ourselves to others.

“You have cancer.” The words pierced my heart like bullets and the syllables constricted my lungs. I was diagnosed with spitzoid melanoma and even with my mother sitting beside me, I felt abandoned, bare, and exposed. The months following my diagnosis were a blur of four-hour car rides to and from the doctor’s office, sitting in various waiting rooms inhabited by balding scalps, and lying nervously on crinkly white paper. After numerous tests and surgery to cure my cancer I was diagnosed with lymphedema, a chronic and painful swelling, which requires me to wear an attention-seeking thigh-high compression sleeve on my right leg, upon the removal of my sentinel lymph node.

While I faced cancer, it was the small acts of kindness that propelled me to thrive. Jokes shared with doctors during treatment and assurance from family kept me hopeful. I returned from the hospital to a house full of decorations, cards, pictures, and cookies courtesy of my close friends. Upon my return to school my peers and teachers assisted me with catching up on old material and carrying my backpack in between classes. The small acts of love performed by those surrounding me formed an unwavering network of support. David R., my former dance teacher, had not only mentored me in dance, but also fostered my growth as an individual. He inspired me to turn obstacles into strength and optimism and taught me the importance of loving others unconditionally. I learned through David’s example, the solace of my family and friends, and experience that giving of oneself to others is most fulfilling.

Cancer, like all other adversities, did not come without grace. Experiencing hardship at a relatively young age has fostered my growth as an individual. I recognize how truly grateful I am to have life, health, and happiness. I am reminded of the importance of simplicity and modesty and to be grateful for each day and experience. I believe in performing ordinary acts of love and opening myself to others as a means of expressing my gratitude and living my life. By offering our empathy through small, but genuine gestures we have the power to make great change. This I believe.