This I Believe

Monique - Virginia Beach, Virginia
Entered on July 18, 2006
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: birth
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On Pregnancy: Let the Truth Be Told

I was always told that being pregnant was the greatest thing on earth. Everyone will tell you that you will feel great, look great, and that it is the best time of your life. LIES, they were all lies. The only thing they got right was when they said there will be a little gift of love in the end. But, what is love? Something obtained easily? I never knew that love could come so easy.

For me, pregnancy wasn’t fun. I never got sick, but the inevitability of the scale (weighing in) got me sick in another aspect. I remember approaching the obstetrician’s office, it gave me a knot in my stomach. I would have to hear those disgraceful words, “Can you please step on the scale?” My head shouted NO, I just stopped and had another hamburger on the way over! But I smiled and unwillingly stepped on the scale. I hated watching the numbers go up. I just lost forty pounds on Weight Watchers.

The hot Virginia summer made my journey through pregnancy even more uncomfortable. The only thing that got me through the humid summer was that I could go home and marinate in the pool for a couple of hours a day. The water retention in my legs was horrible. I never had thick legs and feet and now I did! Yuck! Weight goes up, hot summer heat; legs like a balloon. Having to go to the bathroom every two minutes was the cherry on top. I could not wait until August 22nd.

As August 22nd loomed in the in the distant future, my last ultrasound, at thirty-six weeks, revealed that Ethan was already eight pounds and twelve ounces. My sympathetic obstetrician decided to induce early. Yippee! It was going over it and early. But I did have fears. Needles! I hate needles, how many will there be? Will it hurt? How much will it hurt? I don’t like pain.

The day came for my induction, August 10, 2005. Unsure of what would happen in the hours to come and the anticipation of actually seeing my soon, I felt I was ready. But thoughts, of how my husband would react through out the day, filled my mind. Could he handle it? Could we handle it?

It was a long day. Finally at nine o’clock in the evening, I was told I was going to have a c-section. Relief! 10:46 pm, Ethan was here. He was nine pounds, six ounces, twenty-one inches long and two weeks early. A big sumo wrestler I was told I remember seeing Ethan’s face for the first time, at the moment my feelings of fear and of uncertainty dissipated and changed to love. Instantly, love! I knew it! I always knew it could exist, love at first sight.

After all I went through; pregnancy met my expectations with the gift of love. I remember one day crying, for an hour, over my son, I assume it was the “baby blues”, how could I face life if anything ever happens to him. How could something so small cause this feeling inside that I never want to let go. Through it all, I wondered how someone you’ve never met, change your life so drastically, but in an instant causing a love so deep! This I believe.