I am the daughter of a verbally abusive father. At the age of 18, I cannot think of one moment that I felt like I was good enough for him. I have tried to make him proud, just to have my successes stomped on and I have spent years trying to hide the wounds that his words left on my heart. Countless times I have wondered what I did to deserve a father that made me feel unloved. After hearing numerous times that I would never become anything, I started to believe it myself.
My junior year of high school, my grades slipped, and I started to care less about the things I was passionate about. However, in the darkest moments of that year, my friends, my mom and siblings, my teammates, and God never turned their back on me. They never gave up on me, even when I had given up on myself. I was as crippled in self-doubt as a bird with two broken wings, yet they never doubted that I was able to fly.
My senior year, I choose to get myself back on track. My parents got a divorce, and I no longer had to spend every day walking past a man that could bring me down in one look. I set goals for myself, and proudly accomplished them. I finished my senior year with all A’s and a 30 on my ACT. As captain of the cheerleading squad, I helped lead my team to a regional championship, and was named MVP. By graduation, I received news that I had been offered a full ride to the University of Louisville, which I proudly accepted.
Looking back, I recognize that I am lucky and that there are others who have it far worse than me. But I recognize that I wouldn’t be where I am without the unconditional love of my family and friends. They love me despite my faults, and encourage and support me. Most importantly, they taught me that it is possible to fly with broken wings. Through being loved by them, I have learned to do the same with my father. If years pass, and he is the same man that he is today, I will still love him unconditionally, because I know in my heart that he himself has two broken wings.
The power of unconditional love is healing. It is a force, stronger than hope, and stronger than pain. It is a power that sets you free of your burdens, and allows you to grow as a human being. It allows you to fly. I no longer feel sorry for myself, instead I feel sorry for the man, who is to busy trying to mask his own pain, to realize that his little girl loves him with every inch of her being, despite the fact that she never felt loved by him in return. I only hope that one day he will no longer be blind to the power of being loved unconditionally.