This I Believe

Matthew - Annapolis, Maryland
Entered on June 7, 2006
Age Group: 30 - 50
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.


I believe in contradictions.

I believe in nothing. Yet, I believe in everything.

I believe there are such things as stupid questions. But I believe that if you don’t question things, you get what you deserve.

I believe that there is such a thing as an ugly baby. I also believe that all babies are beautiful.

I believe that my wife is always right. However, I believe that my wife should occasionally pretend to be wrong.

I believe my kids think that I’m Superman. I also believe that my kids increasingly think that I’m an idiot.

I believe in global warming. Yet, I believe I want to buy an 8-cylinder diesel engine, four wheel drive, crew cab pick-up truck that gets 12 miles per gallon on the highway.

I believe all politicians are crooks and morons. But somehow, I believe in democracy.

I believe professional athletes shouldn’t be role models. And I believe I worshiped Pete Rose when I was a kid.

I believe that real men change the oil in their cars. Yet, I believe I can’t find the dip stick in my SUV.

I believe in the endangered species act. But I believe I had ostrich tartar for dinner last week.

I believe exercise is good for the body and soul. However, I believe my La-Z-Boy recliner is very comfortable.

I believe we need to embrace all cultures, people and viewpoints. But I believe that political correctness is rotting away our ability to think independently.

I believe we all need to laugh more. However, I believe that no one can take a joke anymore.

I believe the New York Giants will win the Superbowl every year. Yet, I believe I will be disappointed every twelve months.

I believe red wine lowers blood cholesterol. I also believe I love rib eye steaks.

I believe I’m a total and complete cynic. Yet, I believe one person can change the world.

I believe in freedom of the press. However, I also believe in the freedom to change the channel.

I believe I want to look like that guy on the Bow Flex commercials. Unfortunately, I believe I actually look like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow man.

I believe in equality among the sexes. Yet, I believe that women know they are smarter than men.

I believe I’m forgetting more things as I get older. But, I believe I can still remember the kid in elementary school who could burp his ABCs.

I believe in second chances. Yet, I believe in three strikes and you’re out.

I believe I hate stereotypes. However, I believe I’m a chronically white male who can’t jump and who dances like Al Gore at a campaign rally.

I believe I liked Ginger better than Mary Ann. I also believe that today’s kid’s watch too much television.

I believe airlines discriminate against tall people with long legs. But I believe I’m too cheap to buy tickets in first class.

I believe in free speech. Yet, I believe in the right of everyone to keep their mouths shut.

I believe we put too much emphasis on money. However, I believe I’m underpaid.

I believe my wife and kids are the best part of my life. Yet, I believe my family drives me crazy.

I believe we need more civil debate in our society. However, I believe cursing should be allowed in Presidential debates.

I believe reality television is phony. But, I believe professional wrestling is real.

I believe money and commercials have killed the spirit of Christmas. Yet I still believe in Santa Claus.

I believe in these contradictions. They bring consistency and predictability to my life. They may be illogical, inappropriate, worrisome, idiotic and/or irrelevant. But they’re me. And I suspect that they’re you too … if you’re willing to admit it.