Guardian Angels

As a five-year-old girl I lost my Grandpa Tom. I am now seventeen and don’t remember him very much. All I have left of him is one of his hats and a CD full of him singing songs and telling stories. The chances of me even remembering what he looks like are pretty slim if it weren’t for the picture on the CD cover. Even though he is gone, I believe he is my guardian angel.

The summer after my freshman year I decided to enlist in a seven-week wilderness program out of Wrangell, Alaska. Over the duration of the program, we were in canoes for six weeks and we hiked a mountain for a week. There were multiple times over the duration of that trip that I felt as if there was something or someone pushing me to go just a little bit further in the moments I felt like I couldn’t take another step, paddle stroke, or mosquito bite. I was homesick and ready to be done by day twenty. That was also the day I got the biggest push.

We arrived at our destined campsite early in the day and quickly engaged in dinner prep, group tarp set up, and personal tarp set up. It felt as if I was about to break down in front of my fellow campers at any second. I forced a smile on my face and pushed through with only the promise that later that night I could spill every last pent up tear.

My tarp location was near a six-foot drop-off that stretched into a long sandy beach. The drop off was covered in deer hearts and the sun was streaming in on my designated area illuminating everything around me in immense color. I covered my head with my sleeping bag, preparing myself to let the water works come into commission. Before a single tear dropped, I heard a funny noise toward the drop-off. I uncovered my head and I couldn’t believe what I saw. My Grandpa Tom was sitting on the ledge looking out over the beach. He just sat there for a few moments. When he finally turned around he looked at me and said, “It’s okay, Ashley. You don’t need to worry. When all else fails, I’ve got you.” He turned back towards the beach and continued to gaze upon the horizon and its vibrant colors. I was still in too much shock to say really anything or really even think straight. After what felt like hours of being frozen he turned around again and said, “I’ve got you.” His image seemed to almost shimmer. He slid off the side of the ledge and started walking towards the outgoing tide. With every step he took, he seemed to shrink as if he’d taken fifty steps instead of just one. I watched him leave until I could no longer see him.

I know for a fact that he made my pack light on the hike and made me strong for every paddle stroke I took. There were times when I would see him in a canoe next to me. He never said anything, just whistled cheery tunes and stayed by my side when the waters were rough. He gave me encouraging smiles and that was all I needed to keep moving forward.

I believe that there is always somebody looking out for us when we need it most. I believe that there is somebody making our burdens light when our loads are too heavy to bear. I believe in guardian angels.