This I Believe

Darthanian - Manhattan Beach, California
Entered on May 18, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love
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Guardian Angel: The Essence Well Being

At the age of five, I watched my father walk out on both my mother and I for another woman. I never really understood his decision to leave both, his loving, hard working high school sweetheart and splitting image of a son he liked to call “half-pint”. My father’s early absence during my childhood continued to remain unchanged and created resentment and anger within me that followed me through the years to come. At age five, with him being the only man in the house, I looked up to him as a friend and role model. During my developmental years as a preteen and beyond, his absence left me with many unanswered questions I struggled to find such answers to like how to stand up for what I believe in, and the importance of taking care of business. The single most notable lesson my father has taught me is to strive to never follow in his footsteps.

While lacking the presence of a father, my mother’s spirituality permitted the right frame of mind to succeed in life despite the negativities that life tossed in my path. She filled both parental roles as provider, protector and disciplinarian, as well as her own role as the loving caregiver and healer of my emotional wounds. She taught me lessons that I needed to know, and motivated me in a manner that spawned my growth. I believe my mother, divine being, an angel with the single purpose of illuminating the long, dim journey through life I was lost in.

My mother’s strength is symbolic to the overwhelming struggle we overcame as a team. Her unparalleled devotion persuades with little effort that being positive and staying focused will only push me to the top. These are the qualities I take with me every day I step out of bed, because these are the virtues of a wise individual.

Before I could grasp the importance of her righteous virtues, I was rebellious, stubborn, and determined to live life without these superlative traits. I made one mistake after another in high school that ultimately led to me spending twenty-five days in a juvenile detention center during the last month of senior year. It was these types of predicaments that left me yearning for salvation from the grieving animosity inside me as a result of my father’s lack of interest. But it wasn’t long before I realized that I must learn to forgive others in order to be able to rise above the throbbing soreness that kept me in the midst of misfortune. Looking back at the peak of my hard times I realize, for some, a guardian angel’s presence isn’t clear enough to be seen, but for me I deem, I finally understand the significance of my mother’s heavenly nature on my well-being. My mother is an angel. This is what I believe…