This I Believe

J - Richland, Washington
Entered on May 8, 2006
Age Group: 30 - 50


When I was 12, my family and I were travelling through Portland, OR. We stopped to visit my cousin Kathy, who had just gradated from college. She had her first job and her first apartment. She described all the fun she was having! Her life seemed so wonderful to me! Then she made a profound statement: “I don’t ever want to get married because then you stop getting birthday presents.”

I pondered her statement, the first part, about “never getting married.” Was it possible to CHOOSE never to marry, rather than to be “single by default?” At the age of 12, I made a decision: I would never marry! When I announced my decision to my parents, I was told I was too young to make that kind of a decision.

I have had some serious relationships, but each time, it was I who broke the relationship up. In my 30’s, I was dating the best guy in the world! He was everything I wanted! Things were perfect! One day, I woke up and realized that I REALLY REALLY DID NOT WANT TO MARRY! The worst breakup in the world is to tell a guy who had done nothing wrong, that a relationship is now pointless.

Since this special guy, I have had a couple of serious relationships, and have tried dating guys casually. My belief remains unchanged. I like being single!

Single people who don’t like being single hate spending Christmas and Thanksgiving alone. To the chagrin of my family, I purposely have spent a few of those holidays alone, just to see how “horrible” it is. I found it quite peaceful!

I am now 50 and still enjoy the single life! It’s been six years since I have had a serious relationship, but I use the time to learn new things. I have recently discovered the fun of RV travel!

As for my cousin Kathy, she eventually did marry.