This I Believe

Barbara - Sedona, Arizona
Entered on May 5, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe in God.

I’m not the kind of person who would go to church every day though, thank God for every little thing that is happening or judge people by what they believe in.

I go to church every Sunday, but only a few years ago my parents had to force me to do that.

I used to not believe in God. There was too much pressure to do so in my family. My grandmother, who is from Poland, would have freaked out if she knew. She is the kind of person who prays in almost every moment of her life: Before and after every meal, in the morning, in the evening, before she gets into a car or goes on any kind of journey, before other people leave…she always finds a reason. And that’s how people see it in Poland.

98% of their population is Roman- catholic and people there are very religious. My Polish origin and the way everything is seen there influenced my family, too, although we are living in Germany.

So my parents would have never thought any different of me than to believe in God. It could really bother me sometimes because they would make me pray before I went to bed although I didn’t want to; at some point I got really annoyed.

This went on for about two years. I would go somewhere else instead of going to church, I would chill with my friends or go for a walk.

But then something changed. I started thinking and as things happened in my life that changed me and made me think a lot when I was alone, I started thinking of if there may be something that leads us through life and makes things happen. Sometimes when I felt alone I started thinking about God and that he’s there no matter what. What if it’s true what people say? It started with a huge fight with my best friend. Since I was never really able to talk openly with my parents, I committed all my thoughts and feelings to her. Then we got in a fight…I can’t remember what it was about but I felt lonely as I came home and had nobody to talk to. I think that was when I started talking to God…and it really helped. I am not trying to say that I started reading the bible or even believing everything that it says, not at all. I doubt a lot of things that are said in there. But God became my friend, somebody who is not too busy talking to his girlfriend or too tired to talk to me. I started liking going to church and I pray for my family, for friends, for things that happened or that will happen.

I know a lot of people, especially some of my friends, who don’t believe in God. But I am sure that at some point they will realize that there is something or maybe someone out there that makes things happen, that they can refer to every time they need it when nobody else is around.