There Is No Love Like Self Love

I believe I should love myself. Growing up I never felt pretty enough. It started in the fourth grade when a classmate decided to humiliate me in front of the class by telling me I was “black.” I was confused because when I looked in mirror I didn’t see what my classmate saw; I saw a girl who had dark skin, but it wasn’t black. The laughter of the class made me feel helpless, and after that day I knew it was something wrong with me. From the fourth grade to my freshmen year of high school, I battled with low self-esteem. With no support from my family, other than my mother reassuring me that I wasn’t “black,” by finding an object that was black and saying “See this is black! Baby you’re not this.” It was no use; I still felt ugly. Although I would receive compliments on how pretty my skin was, I could never see it.

There was always one compliment people would say to me to make me think, “You pretty for a dark skin girl.” I would analyze this compliment like a math problem. So people actually think I’m pretty but my skin is holding me back? After this I knew something wasn’t wrong with me; it was something wrong with the people viewing me. People won’t accept me because of my skin color. I understood this. I didn’t understand why, though. Is it because people have this stereotype that dark skin girls are ugly? Is it because of the media only portraying women with light skin as beautiful? I may never know the answer, but one thing I did know is I shouldn’t worry about what people think. The hard part was just getting myself to believe this. One day before my eight grade graduation, I had a heart to heart talk with my teacher. I remember very vividly what she told me, and it was clear that I needed to change how I felt about myself. “La’Joi, if you carry yourself like you’re ugly then of course people will think you are ugly,” she said to me.

I believe that there is no love like self-love. My skin color does not define my beauty. I was created this way for a reason and that I will not question. I am now freshman in college, and when I look in the mirror I still see the same dark skin, but a different attitude. A attitude that may lead to someone else’s dislike but it says that I am confident with myself. But other’s dislike for me doesn’t bother me now because I like myself and that’s all that matters.