I Love You

My pawpaw was an honorable man who worked hard all of his life to provide for his family. He was a man of few words who only spoke when necessary. He was not much of an intimate person, but he loved his family and we all knew that.

He was a sugar cane farmer with a set routine that he followed every day. I stayed at my grandparents house after school most days. At 6:00 pm, I would faithfully bring my pawpaw his beer and crackers while he watched the Wheel of Fortune show.

On the morning of October 1, 2000 my pawpaw had a massive stroke. The entire left side of his body was paralyzed, he could not speak, and he had some memory loss. I visited him at the hospital two days after his stroke. To communicate with us, he would squeeze our hand for “yes” and “no”. I stood next to my pawpaw and held his hand. My grandma asked him, “Pawpaw, do you know who this is?” He squeezed my hand very tightly as water filled his eyes. After being in the hospital for six days, my pawpaw passed away at age 58.

When my mom came home and told me the news, I broke down into tears. A big part of me thought that he would make it. I was 11 years old when he passed and the memory of my pawpaw dying will never leave me. More than that, the feelings of regret for never once in my life telling my pawpaw that I loved him will stay with me forever. He knew I loved him very much, but the fact that I never told him bothers me now as much as it did when he passed.

I believe in the importance of saying, “I love you” to those you love. I have experienced loosing someone very close to me without ever telling him that I loved him and the feelings of regret will live within me forever. I have learned from this experience to tell those I love “I love you” as much as possible. You never know when you can lose someone that is so close to your heart. This I believe.