unconditional love

I believe in unconditional love…

“Son I am very happy to have seen you grow in to the fine young man that you are now, but I feel like the little life that I have left is about to run out…” I saw it in movies all the time; an elderly women telling her loved ones the immense amount of love that she had for them and how happy she is to see them as they are today.

I hated these types of scenes; there is always that part of my brain that seems too related to the present condition in which someone very close to me is at the time, a woman. This woman means the whole world to me; she has been a mother, counselor, and best friend; when it seemed that the whole world did not understand me she was the one person to make me feel safe and understood with a simple hug and a rub on the back. Because of this she had an immense amount of love and respect, something that she never demanded but willingly gives to all those that are around her.

Once I was placed in this scenario I saw that there was no running away from the harsh reality of her life coming to its limit; I started to look back and see that she had an unconditional love for me that always made her see the best in me.

When the whole world thought that I was destined to fail I too had lost hope on myself and became what they saw me as; a menace that was only looking for trouble, that could care less about where he was going to be in the next few years. My only thoughts were the thing that I was going to do next to get the teacher to take me out of that boring class. I had lost sight of the ones that I was really hurting; my family the people that truly cared about my well being and after being placed in a juvenile delinquent facility my own mother was ashamed to call me her son.

Feeling like I had absolutely no place in the world, she gave me a place and a purpose; she told me that she knew I was meant for something big and no matter what the world thought about me she would always be there to support me. Those words motivated me more than anything; I made it my personal goal to show everyone that I could become something big, but most importantly to make that loving woman proud.

Now she was in front of me lying on a bed fighting for her final moments of life; smiling and telling me how honored she was to call me her grandson, and I was frozen at the harsh reality wishing that I too could show her that unconditional love that I had for her but had no words to express myself other than “I love you.”