Worth Fighting For

To me, life is all about fighting.

I have been fighting for years; sometimes it seems that all I know is how to fight. Every day I must fight to restrain myself.

I am a fan of fighting, just for the thrill it gives me. I know and love the feeling of a good fight: the adrenaline coursing through my muscles as they flex and release with every movement, the rush of air against my skin as his fist just misses, the satisfaction of knowing that once again I have survived, that I am invulnerable. In the fight ring I become something beyond myself, I feel like I have left this world far behind, and I love it.

But it comes at a high cost when I lose control near those I love. I become sadistic, sarcastic, and terrible. If I let myself go when I am angry, I run the risk of hurting someone I love.

For so long I had little in the way of control, but all of that changed when I met the two people in my life who matter the most to me. Tiffany, my girlfriend, gives me my greatest reason to fight; she is my motivation to improve myself and control everything that I do. My best friend Jared, he introduced me to martial arts and, more importantly, helped me to realize my philosophy of self-control. He taught me how to fight and, more importantly, how to fight myself.

With their help I began to work towards my new goal. I didn’t want to risk hurting the woman I love, not on my life. I started working out, doing push-ups till my arms couldn’t move, running laps till I couldn’t walk. I worked myself to exhaustion and then I worked some more.

After each session, I would begin with my meditation; I worked all of my anger and my stress away. Through these mental and physical exertions, I became stronger. Every day it was a fight just to keep going, but I kept thinking about the end result. I knew from the start that I would have to fight to be better.

It was by fighting through the worst s**t of my life that I was able to become better. I have not lost my temper since; I have learned self-control, and gained self-respect. I am not perfect, and I never will be, but I will improve because I keep fighting to.