When I was little I loved to wear dresses. The idea of pants was not in my vocabulary and I never thought it would be. But this stubborn four year old abruptly changed her ways when she went to her first day of kindergarten. My younger self noted that most girls only wore pants, capris, and shorts. So do you know what she did? She started wearing pants, capris, and shorts. Now, twelve years later, I don’t even remember that mindset. All because I cared about what people thought of me.
It’s sad to say that as a four year old, I was already being influenced by an outside force, seeking to be accepted by it. This force controls what people do, what they wear, what they think, how they feel, what is cool and what isn’t, what’s normal and what’s weird. It took many embarrassing moments, awkward silences, angered remarks, indignant replies, and shameful feelings to realize how hurtful this mental frame of mind is; the idea that you have to be accepted by others to feel happy. It took me a long time to realize that I don’t need to have confidence in myself just from the way my peers treat me.
Throughout my middle school and high school years, I censored my real self from others, too scared to take the risk of showing my true personality. Too many teenagers care about what others think. They hunger and thirst for that acceptance. We all do. It seems as though this acceptance is needed for our survival. But as it comes to survival, the environment you choose to be in can be hurtful or detrimental. We have to look in the right places. I’ve seen many people, young and old, try and fail. They have tried to find acceptance through places like school, friends, family, peers, even Facebook and Twitter. Stupid things like the number of likes you get on a photo, the number of friends and follows, the number of people you are texting at a time. I feel this generation is more self-conscious and starving for that “worldly” acceptance that they all want so desperately. They crave the feeling of knowing someone likes you for who you are and not because of the way you look.
Some get so desperate for attention and acceptance they’ll do anything to gain it. But I have learned a trick. It’s very simple, yet so hard to do. Accept yourself. This process is like solving a puzzle. Every puzzle piece is a little part of pride you find in yourself, something possibly insignificant, but when put together all these pieces of you end up showcasing the person you are and everyone will be pleased with the outcome.
Be happy with who you are because everyone is perfect in their own way. With that acceptance, it will lead to confidence, happiness, and a joyful life. The ironic thing is once you let go of that dependence to be accepted by others, that is when your peers will start to accept you the most. They see that confidence shine in everything you do, which leads to respect and love.
We are all looking everywhere possible for acceptance by the world; when the whole time we just have to accept ourselves. We need to realize that we are going to be stuck with ourselves for the rest of our life! So why care what others think, because in the long run, it won’t matter. You don’t need what others think to make you happy with yourself, and you never will.