People are Judgemental

Ryse - vanderbilt, Michigan
Entered on October 11, 2011
Themes: tolerance

I believe that people judge others by what they hear and not by what they experience.

I believe this because after my father passed away when I was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school, I was lost for a short time. I had a part missing in me, a void. I tried to fill this void with many things such as partying, drinking, drugs, nothing worked. After I realized that none of these things were going to help me I had already built a reputation. People looked at me as a punk kid who drank, smoked pot, and was a womanizer.

I never had a problem getting a girlfriend but not one I truly wanted to be with for a long time. My senior year I started to talk to a sophomore named Brandi that was absolutely gorgeous. We hung out every day and became very close. The homecoming dance was coming up and I really wanted to go with her so I planned on asking her mom for permission a couple weeks prior. I asked her mom and she said no at first but later changed her mind. There were conditions. Her mom had to drive us to dinner, then to the dance and she was also chaperoning the dance. I agreed without hesitation because I really wanted to go with Brandi.

A couple weeks later I told Brandi I wanted a relationship, I was thrilled when she said she felt the same way. I knew I had to ask her parents if it was okay out of respect so that’s what I did. I walked to their house while Brandi was at basketball practice and talked to her mom.

I can remember being so nervous, because I wanted her mom so badly to give me her approval. I knocked on the door and she answered, “Hi Ryse, what’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about me and Brandi?” I replied.

A deep look of curiosity covered her face. “What about you and Brandi?”

With a bead of sweat on my forehead I managed to get out, “Well I was wondering if I could get your permission to date her?”

She looked at me and kind of smirked and said “I don’t think so Ryse.”

Now the butterflies were setting in. “Can I ask why, Debbie?”

She invited me in and slowly and went into a lecture that made me feel worthless. “Ryse, my daughter deserves the best. I protect my daughters from anything bad that I can. From what I’ve heard, I know you have been through a lot and I don’t want Brandi exposed to that. I know you have slept around and I’m not about to let my daughter be another notch on your belt. I know that your dad used to hit and abuse you. I could see if you and Brandi were to get into an argument you would hit her. I’m sorry but I’m not okay with my daughter being with someone like you.”

Those words hit me like a train. She had just based her complete opinion about me on what she had heard. She didn’t care to ask me about my past, or take my two cents about it all she just looked at me as white trash because of what she had “heard”.

I’m not perfect, no one is, and I can say that I have judged people from what I have heard. After that day I looked at the people I’ve judged, given dirty looks to, talked shit to, and just plain disregarded a little deeper. I can’t let someone else’s opinion and feelings about someone persuade my take on that person too, it isn’t fair. I don’t know what someone has been through, what someone has endured in the years past until I care to find out who they really are.

That day at the Whittaker’s house after I left I promised myself from then on I would do my best to not judge someone until I actually knew them. I would suggest you try the same.