Essays

In first grade, I took a spelling test with the word “of” on it. O-F. Of. My guess is that every student in the class that day spelled the word correctly; every student except for Malcolm, the slowest in the class. As I looked over at his test, I saw that he had spelled the word U-V. “Uv.”

I remember thinking “Geez, how dumb is this kid?” But as I sat there, I realized that spelling “of” with a U and a V made a lot more sense than spelling it with an O and an F, which were two letters corresponding to sounds which had nothing to do with the sounds in the word “of.”

Why was this ever-so-simple word spelled in this completely illogical way? The best answer I could come up with at the time was: That’s just the way it is, that’s the way it’s always been, that’s what adults told me was the truth, and that’s how I have to spell the word to get it right on this test and be a good student. So I better just shut up, look smart, and use an O and an F.

I didn’t know it then, but this little realization was my first brush with an understanding of what indoctrination was. All of us in the class that day so quietly and without question accepted a truth because it was backed by authority and tradition. It was the rule, and the world would see Malcolm as dumb, and not the spelling.

The spelling of “of” may not be a worthy battle to build a life around, but as I grew older this memory helped me become aware of the fact that the world is a place that comes with a lot of strange rules and assumptions that we often fail to question. As a teenager, I dubbed these rules “uvisms.” Spelled with a U and a V.

Growing up, I recognized the presence of these uvisms in the expectations and assumptions levied on me by my surroundings. For me, this manifested itself in a defiance of suburban mediocrity and the questioning of traditions and mindsets given to me by a set of well-meaning immigrant parents, that had little relevance to who I was as a person raised in this country.

Uvisms led me down the path that many of us take away from religion—mythologies backed by the weight of generations and generations of people, when subject to questioning, seemed to me, to be as relevant as the O and the F.

Looking back at the 20th century, I saw uvisms be torn apart, as racist and sexist traditions were abandoned. And in modern times, in the ever-losing argument that has said “Gay marriage has never existed, why do we need to have it now?”

I have learned that there are many rules and traditions. Many of them are there for good reasons. Many of them are not. You don’t have to follow all of them.

I believe in the misspelling of the word “of,” and the necessity for each generation to question the assumptions of the previous.

January 22, 2024

Misspelling the Word “Of”

When Jason Oda was in the first grade, he had an experience that has stuck with him into adulthood. As he has grown older, he has realized the importance of questioning the rules and traditions of the past and not accepting "just because" as a valid answer to life's questions.
March 10, 2023

Connecting to a Global Tribe

Matt Harding has been to 70 countries to dance–badly–in front of a camera, and videos of his travels are an Internet sensation. Harding believes interacting with so many people is challenging his primitive brain to see more of what unites humanity.
February 7, 2023

Treating Everyone As Family

Madeleine Urbaszewski wasn't born in New Orleans, but she has called it home since moving there in the fourth grade. Because she has experienced warmth and friendliness from the people there, including perfect strangers, Ms. Urbaszewski has come to believe in treating everyone like family.
February 1, 2023

Standing Up to Injustice

Rosa Parks became known as the "first lady of civil rights" when she refused to give up her seat on a public bus for a white passenger. Ms. Parks believed that standing up to injustice was her path toward true freedom.
December 27, 2022

The Designated Celebrator

Holiday gatherings mean long hours for Melinda Shoaf: polishing the silver, hanging the decorations, cooking the big dinner. But the Memphis homemaker believes her family deserves a good celebration.
December 16, 2022

It’s Better to Give…and Receive

Like many of us, Lisa Dunlap had always heard the adage that it's better to give than to receive. But having been on the receiving end of many acts of kindness, Ms. Dunlap has come to believe that while it is indeed good to give, it's also good to receive.
December 13, 2022

Why I Close My Restaurant

San Francisco restaurateur George Mardikian tells of his immigration from Eastern Europe to the United States, and he explains how he tries to repay the warm embrace Americans have given him.
November 21, 2022

Rice for Thanksgiving

Many people have a favorite Thanksgiving dish. It’s not turkey or pumpkin pie for Jocelyn Fong, but something that combines American tradition with her father’s Chinese heritage. Fong believes her simple dish helps her connect with her mix of cultures.
November 13, 2022

The Power of Hello

When he was a child, Howard White’s mother taught him the importance of greeting people. Now an executive at Nike, White believes everyone he meets deserves to have their presence and their humanity acknowledged. For him that begins with “hello.”