This I Believe

My first experience with the death of a loved one occurred eight years ago, when my younger sister died suddenly. Throughout her life, my sister struggled with juvenile diabetes. A massive heart attack caused her death at age 35.

I believe in preserving the memory of lost loved ones, and holding onto the treasure of lessons and gifts left behind for the living. Two of the most precious lessons I have received from my sister’s life are the importance of taking risks, and the value of enthusiasm.

Six weeks prior to her death, my sister, with her husband’s help, held a birthday party for their young son. The party was in their backyard, and was a very large celebration. Extended family and friends were invited, many of whom lived far away. Unbeknownst to everyone, this was to be the last opportunity for many of my sister’s loved ones to see her or to speak with her.

I gave my sister very little encouragement while she was planning the party. Instead, she was implored by me and by others to simplify her plans by inviting fewer people. She went ahead with her plans anyway, while not criticizing anyone for their views on the subject. My sister simply accepted the negative comments, while giving cheerful, unconditional love.

Not only was the party a huge success, but countless family members and friends thanked and praised my sister for the most enjoyable gathering. My sister’s thoughtfulness was evident in the attention she gave to each guest, young and old alike. Now, my heart breaks when I think of how I let my sister down. My lack of enthusiasm throughout the planning phase of the party could not have been pleasant for her.

With the passage of time, I have learned how to live with the heartache, and to overcome my loss by remembering my sister’s strength. When my first inclination is to talk myself out of planning an event, I stop myself and recall not just the end of my sister’s life, but the manner in which she lived her life in its entirety. I believe in honoring her memory, and the best way to accomplish that is to face each day with courage and enthusiasm.

The death of a loved one can be a tragic event. Along with the darkness of dealing with the loss, a glimmer of light will eventually appear. When we are ready, we will see that our loved one lives on within us. I believe that it is up to each of us to keep the memories alive.