This I Believe

I was 15 years old, living in a crazy world of my family trying to learn from my experience at life. I know I haven’t seen everything but I have been through most of it. I go to high school, and I’m in 10th grade. If you looked at me you wouldn’t see anything wrong but inside everything is wrong. It felt like the world was coming to an end in my eyes. This I believe hold most people back and not show what they truly want from life and they give up. But I didn’t want to give up. My mom didn’t want me, she always got mad on random occasions because she has bipolar, I am staying at my dads in is 1 bedroom apartment, skipping school everyday because I have too many things on my mind and couldn’t concentrate. I just wanted to drop out and run somewhere there was no trouble. I knew there was no such thing but it was what I wanted.

One day I thought to myself want do I want from life? I wanted a nice car, a job that pays a lot of money, and a big house, the usual. But then I started thinking deeply about real things that could help me become successful. Things like parents that help me become a better person, parents that will push me through school and tell me they believe in me. Small things that are simple to overcome. It was the part about asking because I know it wasn’t going to come to them one day and want to help me, I had to of wanted it and ask them for it. See my parent are the kind that will help anyone but they have just given up on me. I have never been really close to my parents because we have never had the time to bond.

The day I realized that my mom was really bad in her depression and she needs mental help, I realized how much of what I’ve done has affected her in some ways. There were very little situations to where I have affected her. The person that had affected her the most is her boyfriend. He comes home and goes straight to his room, he is an alcoholic, they barley talk, and he is just so mean to her. It never stops. When I tell her what I think about her depression she tells me “I wouldn’t have been this way if you didn’t do it to me.” I cried for a long time because I didn’t think that I did anything to her except try to stay away from the situation. But she will think that until I prove her wrong. So I made her a bet that if I went back to school , had good grades, and could keep them up the she would go to a mental hospital and get help with her depression. The bet was on.

I am now 16. I’m the person I wanted to be because of my decision. I pushed myself through school everyday, even though in my head I didn’t want to be here. I tell myself I am here because I want to be the person who graduates and goes to college. I am here because I don’t want anyone to stop me. I am in my 11th year of school doing good and getting above a “C” average. I am going to drivers education and getting my license, and still living at my dads. This I believe is not giving up.