The Strongest Emotion

I believe that the emotion of love is much stronger than grief. I had once thought that grief was the strongest emotion we could ever experience. I came to this conclusion based mostly on my own experiences with grieving. But also during those times, those horrible times, when I had seen someone mourning, in a state of grief, so overcome with one of the worst experiences of their lives.

That pain that a parent feels when they lose a child. That pain that a wife feels that had lost her husband or a husband that had lost his wife. That pain that everyone feels sometime in their lives, no matter what their age or how strong they are or where they are from.

I believed it because I remembered. I remembered how, when my father passed away, so many years ago, and then another member of my family, and another. I remembered when my wife and I had to put down one of our pets that we loved so much, and then again years later. I remembered the way my body almost lost control of itself. So overcome with the loss, the sadness, and the feeling that I might never recover from the painful heartbreak.

I remembered so vividly that more than one of those times, those powerful emotions would rush back and I would begin choking up, and start crying, and before I realized it, was reliving those awful feelings of loss and pain.

As most of us who have had this experience, the crying is the least of it. It is the uncontrollable sobbing, gasping, shaking, but most of all the feeling of helplessness because we want to reach out and bring them back. The awful feeling of absolute suffering that seems like it will never end.

So why now would I believe differently? I believe because I came back to do it again. I believe because most of us come back to do it again. My wife and I would get another dog knowing that eventually their life would come to end, much sooner than ours. Parents would choose to have another child. A wife or husband would choose to get married again.

But why do we do it? I believe it is because the emotion of love is so much stronger than grief. Even if it is for a short time, the joy we get from the relationship, the sharing of emotions, the closeness, the smiles, the laughter, the wagging tails, it is all worth it.

I believe because I know the risks and yet I do it again. I know the odds are not in my favor. I know again that there will be loss and pain and grief. I believe because again and again I watch people reach out and begin again. I believe in love.