Honesty

I was yelled at for crying. Adults would make me anxious, then become angered when I was emotional. This was upsetting, but I didn’t really understand how harmful it was until I found out that two of the people I care about most had been abused for displays of emotion. I learned of physical and emotional abuse perpetrated upon my good friends as punishments for their feelings. Abuse and violence only ever serve to make situations worse. Instead of the negative feelings dissipating, they were aggravated and had gotten much worse after the abusive treatment.

I could see that this abuse had had a profound effect on them, stifling their feelings and their ability to empathize to their peers. In this way, emotional abuse has a ripple effect. It gets worse over time because many people who have been abused in this manner are unwilling to actively seek help for themselves.

When people are emotionally distant, it keeps them from living their lives to the fullest and hurts others. It is also dishonest; when you hide your feelings from the rest of the world, you are essentially lying to them. Most people are actually more pleased when they know what to do to make someone happy than when they think that he or she is always content. Often, when you hold your feelings back, you isolate yourself and start to resent the people that you see who aren’t emotionally dishonest. This resentment builds up over time and fuels hatred. Hatred does not benefit anyone, and instead leads to violence and more pain than what was originally inflicted upon the abused person himself.

I believe in being emotionally honest and open with everyone that I meet, to stop the spread of that pain. Keeping yourself closed off from your peers doesn’t help either you or them. It’s just a form of self-imposed imprisonment that keeps people from living fulfilling lives.

I also believe in encouraging others to do the same, because if we don’t, the scars from one person will just keep being passed along, the wounds being reopened along the way.