A Better Way To Die

I believe there is a better way to die. I have appointed myself the judge of my quality of life and I will determine the path that is right for me. Many people do not want to think about their end of life. As a Palliative Care nurse, I have spent almost 30 years working with patients who are dealing with non curable illnesses. Through the process of family meetings, where important end of life decisions are discussed, I realize that many people believe the doctor should be the decision maker about their health. I believe that decisions about my health should be based on clear medical information, my goals, my quality of life and should be made by me.

Currently, I depend on state of the art medicine to help me cure illness and injury so I can continue to enjoy my life. Now that I am older some of the conditions of aging, namely arthritis and hypertension have arrived. These chronic conditions remind me that the body is a machine with a limited warranty. I live a happy and productive life. Thank God that my quality of life is excellent.

My quality of life includes, but is not limited to, being home with my husband, the joy of being with our 4 kids and their families, being kissed by my baby grandson, parties with friends and family, Christmas holiday celebrations, playing no score golf, reading and listening to books, eating a great spaghetti dinner and laughing out loud.

I know if an incurable diagnosis is in my future, I will weigh every option before I act. I will choose treatment as long as I feel that the burden is worth the benefit. I will not spend the last months or years in and out of hospitals. If I am in a declining condition, I will not allow cardiopulmonary resuscitation that may break my ribs, damage my throat and burn my chest. If I have any awareness, it will feel like the worst beating I could ever imagine. People are amazed to learn that the success rate of CPR done in the hospital is only 15% to 20%. I do not want to spend extended time in a hospital or nursing home clinging to a life that no longer includes the things that make me glad to be alive.

I will choose hospice care. They assure that I will have holistic, compassionate care, dignity and peace as I approach the end of God’s gift of my life. Their goals for me would include the best pain and symptom management possible. They will address the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of all who are close to me making comfort the goal in all they do.

Death is not optional. Unless I die unexpectedly, the choices I make will be mine. I do not want to put myself or those I love through the medical madness that end of life can be. This I believe.