Happiness

I’m the type of person who would laugh at any type of joke, and I mean almost anything. I like to laugh, joke, and just be silly. It makes me feel good about myself and the world. Anyone who can make me laugh I consider a friend. Laughing, in a way, balances my world out. Of course that sounds a little bit silly, but to me if I were never to feel the warmth of a smile or the sensation of a laugh I would feel empty inside. Smiling, laughing, and being silly help me get away from the crushing times in my life; the moments were I just want to cry, and the drama. Laughter gives me hope and makes me believe that there are things in this world that are beautiful and worth living for. That I why I believe in happiness.

Happiness gives everyone a positive outlook on life. I believe that without happiness people wouldn’t experience the full value of life. Yes there are times in your life where you feel so far down that you start to believe that there is no way you can bring yourself back up, but your never alone. There still is happiness, there still is hope, and there still is beauty. there is always someone there for you in the darkness whether it be your dad, mom, sister, brother, cousin, auntie, uncle, best friend, anyone.

For me, my dark hole was when I heard my mom say. “Kristina, gramma is gone, she passed away a few hours ago.” That moment was devastating to me. It crushed me from the inside out. I went blank. I couldn’t believe her. I couldn’t believe the words that my mother told me. I had to be strong for my mom though. When we got to Lapwai I went in the back room and started to cry. I cried through dinner, I cried myself to sleep. I knew that my gramma didn’t want me to just sit in a corner and stop living do I tried to regain my happiness. My mom told me I should go back to HOIST, so I did. I hope that my new friends would help me decrease my pain that I had.

At first when I came back all I could think about was my gramma. Her face kept appearing in my head. I felt awful. I felt like I was betraying her by coming back to HOIST. I kept debating whether or not to stay or to go, but then I saw my friends here smiling, giggling, and laughing at stupid random stuff made me feel happy. There laughter and silliness was so contagious. I had to also smile. Seeing their happiness made me recap on the happiness I had. I wanted that back not just for me but also for my family. I want my family to be happy. I wanted my family to remember all of the good times we had with gramma and how she brought joy, laughter, love, and compassion to us. I wanted us to thing of the good, and not let her passing makes us not want to live. In order to do that, we must have happiness. Without happiness there is no way that we can bring ourselves up, no way to keep us from drowning in the pain, sorrow, and grief we felt, and no reason to live your life. I believe in happiness.