I Believe in Silence

I believe in silence. I was born this way. It is what makes me comfortable and it is what brings me peace. I learned to communicate through words at nine months. Although I could talk, I rarely did. I found peace in the silence and I had a hard time wrapping my brain around why people always had to talk. I was dubbed withdrawn, shy, reserved and even, at one point anti-social, which I have come to find out has a whole different connotation. As I emerged as a teenager, I learned that the more I talked the less other talked about why I was not talking and thus, I learned the game. I made friends and joined clubs and played sports and by the end of the eighth grade, was named friendliest girl and at the end of my senior year of high school, had the honor of being the friendliest girl and party hostess!

As a young adult, I craved silence, but resisted as I tried to make my way in the world and I encouraged myself to invite more noise. I adapted to the sounds of love, friendships, college, law school, the birth and growth of my child and sharing a life with my husband. In this journey, I have come to form one of my strongest beliefs.

I believe in enjoying your own company. I believe in taking the time to get to know yourself, by yourself, with yourself. I believe in asking yourself questions, out loud and seeing what answers you give. I believe in taking the time to go places and do things, alone. I believe that you cannot know who you are without spending time with yourself. I believe in taking yourself out to dinner, not as a challenge to see who will stare at you or to put you out of your comfort zone but, as an act of pleasure and deserving. Being by yourself allows you the opportunity to know the value of your company. Being by yourself allows you the opportunity to appreciate and choose wisely the people you draw close to you. Creating this stability in your aloneness takes away the desperation and need to have company. It enhances the experiences shared with others and it allows you the opportunity to be aware of who you are in the company of others and be that person in any environment.

When speaking of relationships, no matter what kind, child to parent, romantic, friendships, etc. I often hear people say that they, “cannot be themselves or they “lose themselves” or “they don’t know who they are.” Being able to be comfortable with one’s self, by one’s self especially for women, creates a foundation from which can stem immeasurable growth, success, contentment with one’s choices and the strength to make new choices.

This I believe.