Finding yourself

I believe in finding happiness in yourself. I believe in self motivation. I believe in self help. I believe that it only takes one person to change your life, and that is you. I believe that the best thing a person can do in life is find happiness within themself.

My biggest fear is that I am inadequete. That I am not smart enough, driven enough, good looking enough, or nice enough. I wandered through life as a child being told how amazing I was but I could never shake the feeling that I was not enough. I have spent 18 years trying to please the entire world, hoping that in time I would feel like I was enough to please everyone. My intentions are noble but there is a major flaw in this plan of mine. You can never please every single person. Therefore I was unable to ever find this feeling of peace I was looking for. It took me many years of failed attempts at pleasing all to realize I truly needed to find happiness within myself. Doing what other wanted would please them, not myself.

I have always lived a mixture of a country lifestyle and a city boy social life. I feel almost like a half-breed. In my heart I embrace the traditions and lifestyle of the dying country culture, but my friends and most of my family are very different from myself. At my family functions you can usualy see that my dad is the epitamy of presentability and social acceptance. Tall and lean, wrinkle free polo shirt, and a fresh haircut make him seem the model of upper middle class citizens. I myself am usualy in my jeans, a flannel button up shirt, and my boots. Do we clash heads every time we leave the house? Yes. But at the end of any event, he has gotten his compliments on his presentability, and I have gotten mine on my respect and maturity. So we leave happy. He is happy with himself and his ways and I am happy with myself and my ways.

After years of dressing and acting how I was told, I finaly reached the realization that I am a good kid and that I have nothing to be ashamed of about being me. Everyone is looking for acceptance. I am happy with living on the fringes of societys acceptance myself, while some people are not. This is where some peoples inner happiness is and I feel it is all the better if they find it easily and are happy. I feel the best way to make the world happy is to start by making yourself happy