The Mystery of Life

Krizelyn - Pittsburg, California
Entered on May 13, 2009

I grew up in a family where professions are very important. My mother was a dentist, my father worked at a water company, my brother was a computer engineer, and my eldest brother and my sister are nurses. Even though we emigrated here from the Philippines, they know where they stand. They have achieved their aspiration by working hard throughout their life. As the youngest child, I was always the spoiled one. That’s a good thing. However, as the youngest, they expect me to be as successful as they are. When I think about where they stand right now, I feel pressured. I feel like they’re forcing me to be like them. Sometimes I wonder if I could be that person they expect me to be, but I didn’t realize that there’s something missing in my life that I have not distinguished before.

I was only fifteen when my father passed away of lung cancer. It was hard for me to adjust because of all the memories he had left behind. Before he died, I told him that I would finish college so I could help out my family. Now, here I am, trying to push myself, but no matter how durably I force myself, I lose confidence in the end.

I tried many possible ways to find that missing piece, but in the end I come out empty handed. I wanted to give up because I was afraid of failing, but in just a blink, I came to realize what the missing piece was. It was during my second semester as a college student that I began thriving myself to find it. I had a big test on my Anatomy class and I was really having a hard time understanding the concepts. I was afraid that I would fall short and not pass because I was on the edge of failing. I wanted to give up and I already planed to drop the class. I told my mother and my sister what I was going to do. I thought that they would understand me, but they became disappointed because I couldn’t take the challenge. Through their words, I stayed in the class. I did my best on the test, and the result was very startling. I didn’t think that I would get a higher grade than what I had anticipated. The result was way beyond my expectation. Suddenly, I realized that the missing piece is trust.

Trust is probably the most important aspect in our life. It gives us the ability to show no fear and hesitation. Trust can be broken once in awhile, but it will always stay alive in order for us to experience the biggest adventures in our life.

As for me, my life had been a big challenge. I was the person who does not have the ability to trust myself. When I lose confidence, I lose trust in myself and my ability to change. I never really challenge myself because I’m afraid of failing. It was difficult for me everyday to imagine what my life would be if I continue to doubt myself. However, I came to realize that I have to trust myself to be at ease. I never thought that trust could change my life. Now, I am very content on what I had realized, and even though I just started, I know that it will guide me to the path of my success.

I believe that trust is part of the mystery of our life that we don’t even know exists. It is always hidden beneath us and can abruptly surprise us anytime. Trust is unnoticeable, but once we believe, we could feel its power taking over us. The life that we thought we have could change anytime once trust emerges in our life.