I have never fit into any one religious definition.
When I was in high school I took a World Religions class, changing my view of religion for good. At the time, I was deciding whether or not to continue going to church. I was attending a Methodist church where as my parents were Catholic, but hadn’t gone to church since I was in elementary school.
When I was a little girl I hated going to church. My mother had us go every Sunday. Each Sunday, my father would leave before communion to pull the car up. It was up to him which one of us, between my sister and me, got to go with him.
I hated Sunday school too. I had no friends and nothing they taught related to my life. In seventh grade, around the time of Confirmation, I asked my mom if I could go to my friend Tara’s instead. The new church was even more conservative.
I felt the need to be loyal to my family, my sister continued Sunday school until high school, so it seemed appropriate I would too. I spent a lot of time with my friend, Maggie, having gone multiple times to her Youth Group. It was more relaxed. So, I decided to become Methodist. I went through the process of Confirmation. I even went so far as to be baptized again.
After a few years my friendship with Maggie grew tired. I found myself going less and less to church. I turned down invites to mission trips, and didn’t go to camp.
This is the time in my life that I took the class which changed my life.
I had never been exposed to any religion other than Christianity or Judaism. I was in an almost stunned state during each class session. I didn’t understand how someone could believe in their religion when there are hundreds of others.
I started to question my own beliefs.
It wasn’t until recently that I took a course, Psychology of Religion, that lead me to question how people are able to believe their religion is the ‘right’ one.
Recently, I realized the reason people are able to commit to their religion is because they believe it is the way. They believe it holds a promising future and the answers to the past. Often religion causes euphoric feelings which they want to share with others.
Knowing this, I realized I too a religion.
I have always believed in the present moment, accepting each moment with belief that it happens for a reason. The “universe is connected” approach.
Whether or not I am always practicing this, I believe it is the way to live life. I want to teach other people the power of it which is what I now believe makes someone devoted to one religion.
I feel at ease knowing that I have found my spiritual place. However, I still feel discomfort in knowing that my beliefs don’t fit within a mainstream religion.
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