Don’t live in the past, live for tomorrow!

Kasey - Bechtelsville, Pennsylvania
Entered on May 12, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: carpe diem

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow. You always have people to turn to when you need them the most.

Chad Miller was my best friend for a long time and then something bad happened. The Summer/Spring of 2007, we were with each other everyday. We got into trouble, went places together, went racing together, and drove around. You could pretty much say we were inseparable. When we were little I remember that we went to the Bechtelsville Carnival and all we did that night was take money from our parents and play games. Chad came over to my house on a Saturday before we left for the races and I was getting ready to go out and he came walking up my stairs in the most ridiculous outfit. He was wearing camo shorts with a gaudy belt and a Red Skins jersey with a blue New York Yankee’s hat. I made fun of him so much that night for what he was wearing. That day when Chad came over he asked what I would do if he died. I just looked at him with the stupidest look and said, “I’d be so lost without you and I would miss you like crazy” The one night I was with my friend Emily at her house and Chad called me and told me he was with two of his friends, so they came and picked up us. We decided to go out to a diner at 2:00 in the morning. I didn’t tell my mom we were going because I thought we were going to beat her back home. Well, when I got home my mom was so mad at me, Chad came walking up the stairs and just put his arm around my mom. Chad said that I was in good hands and that he wouldn’t have let anything happen to me.

One week, I decided to go the beach with my friend Natasha, my cousin Brittany, my mom and my step-dad. We got there on a Sunday; Sunday night we girls just walked on the boardwalk. Monday during the day we went to the beach. Later that night, we went to dinner at a restaurant called Crab Alley. It was the first time for Natasha eating there. Monday night we decided to go on the boardwalk again. Tuesday, Brittany, Natasha, and I went to the beach. During the day, I was going to call Chad and see what he was up to and rub it in his face that I was at the beach. Later that day, we went back to my beach house and asked my parents if we could take the jet skis out. Around 4:00, we went out on the bay and rode jet skis. Before I left, I was going to call Chad, but I never did because we were getting ready to go out. That night, Brittany, Natasha, and I wanted to go to the night club. So, we got cleaned up and went to the club.

When I got there, I noticed I had a few missed calls on my cell phone. My brother Brad had called me, my brother’s friend, and a couple of my friends. I called my brother’s friend back first. He got on the phone and said that Brad needed to talk to me. Brad asked where I was, and I told him standing in line to go to the night club. He told me Chad died in a car accident.

At first I thought he said my dad died, so immediately I got upset. I asked him to repeat it again and he said, “Chad, Chad Miller. Your best friend.” At first it didn’t really hit me who it was because I was in shock. After, I got off the phone with my brother, my mom called me and asked if Brad told me the news. She offered to pick me up and bring me back to my beach house. I told her no because I promised Natasha that we would go to the night club, and I wanted to keep my mind off it.

Brittany, Natasha, and I went into the club and my phone started ringing. It was Chad’s little sister, Chelsea. I didn’t want to pick up the phone because I didn’t know what to say to her. When I picked up the phone I said, “Hello.” She asked me if I heard, and I could hear it in her voice that she was so upset and didn’t really know what to say. I didn’t have much to say to her because there are no words that can help a situation like this. We talked for a little bit about it, and then she told me she had to go. Before we got off the phone I said to her, “Chelsea, if you need anything, someone to talk to in the middle of the night, anything please call me. I’ll pick up my phone and talk to you, please don’t hesitate.”

That next day we packed up and came home. It took us three hours to get home. The whole way home I barely said two words. I didn’t know what to do. I was so upset that I had just lost my best friend. When I came home, my mom drove me up to my brother’s race car shop. My brother asked me if I had seen the newspaper, and I told him no. I read the article, and I got so upset and he gave me a big hug and pulled me away from everyone and took me for a walk. He told me that he has never been through something like this and that I’m a strong girl and that everyone is here for me. Brad also told me if I need someone to talk to about this, I could come to him.

Chad has taught me a lot since he had passed away. He taught me to live each day as it’s your last and don’t live in the past. Chad was the type of person who did live each day as if it were his last. Nothing would ever hold him back from anything. There is one thing I regret in my life and that is that I wished I would have called him the day he died so I could have talked to him. The lesson I learned from that was maybe I wasn’t supposed to talk to him, and maybe it was going to be a lot harder for me I did talk to him before he passed away. Chad has changed my life so much. He taught me to think of the good and not the bad, don’t live in the past, and do what you feel like, since you only have one life to live, live it the way you want to live it.

While, I believe everything happens for a reason, no matter how bad today is tomorrow is always another day. You only have one life; live it the way you want to. Don’t live in the past, live for tomorrow!