I believe in the power of forgiveness. Growing up in such a unique and highly opinionated family, forgiveness was always needed but was never there. In my family everyone’s honesty was always welcomed, until something was said that you didn’t like, and then as some might say, all hell broke loose.
When I refer to my family as being unique, it’s not a good uniqueness; this is a quality that I wished my family never had. At most times their outspoken personalities have been over bearing. There are just things as a child that I recall being said to me that no child my age should have to sit through.
Like turning 13, happy to finally be a teenager and being the center of rumors on how soon it would before I had a child. “Why”, is what I would ask and they would just say like mother like daughter. Or when I reached the age to start asking questions, questions like why my father was not and is not part of my life. To find out that a person who is supposed to want what’s best for me threatened and ran him off, because that’s what she felt was right at the time. Or like when I was 11 years old, and it was my first real birthday party that I remember, but not just because it was my birthday. I remember waiting for my Nana and the family to show, but they never did show. I remember looking up at the door every time someone had entered just to see if that was them, but no luck. That was when I was 11, and I forgave her. But it seems after that birthday promises where made and broken every year until I was 15 and just go to old to have a birthday. But year after year I forgave and opened a new door.
My mother would say how brave I was for forgiving all those things, and passing them as they never happened. I was the daughter who was never like her mother, because no matter how much I forgave she never did.
Especially the day she found out that I remember talking on the phone to my father for the first time, that I do remember and my birthday was on that Friday and he promised to bring me a gift and I waited up all that Friday for him to show and nothing, I waited up every Friday for about a month or so, not just for a gift but for a chance to see my father. To this day there is no gift and no father in my life.
Having been through so much hardship in my life verbally, emotionally, by a grandparent, and a person I barely know. I have forgiven them, because I know nobody is perfect.
Having the power to forgive has made me a stronger person. Where I don’t let words hurt me, words are words, and actions are actions but forgiveness is what brings family and life together and this I believe.