I Believe in The Prayers of a Liar and a Thief

stephanie - apache Juntion, Arizona
Entered on May 8, 2009

I used to be a liar and a thief. I wasn’t the kind of thief who stole material things, instead I was the kind of thief who stole any moment I could just to be alone. I also wasn’t the kind of liar you couldn’t trust to tell the truth. I was the kind of liar who lied to myself trying to make-believe I was happy.

Since my life had given me a few reasons to feel sorry for myself long before I was a liar or a thief. I was born with feet that pointed in the wrong direction and so did my eyes. Not to mention, I grew up watching my father rap and beat my mother on a daily bases. Which is probably why I learned to walk in nine months with cast on my feet. When your raised in a violent home watching your mother and siblings get knocked around, it doesn’t take long for you to learn how to get out of the way and fast.

So when I four years old I started to prey to God for help because I didn’t know what else to do. Almost everyday I preyed asking God to help me get out of that house. So when I was five years old and it was time for me to start school I thought my prayers had been answered.

All I wanted to do was get away from my father, try to make friends, and hangout at their houses. But my first day of preschool was nothing short of horrible. All the kids laughed at my uncombed hair and thick magnifying glasses. That was the day I became a liar and a thief because I would cry by myself and tell people nothing was wrong. Years later when I was out of high school and living on my own I noticed I was still depressed. So I remember what I used to pray for all those years ago and realized you can’t hide from the things that upset you, you have to find away to deal with them. God had answered my prayers again but they were incomplete because I was preying for what I wanted and not what I needed. Once I realized what I was doing wrong I changed my prayers. I started asking god to help me deal with the things that upset me and. And again God has answered my prayers, but this time it made my life better. Now I’m am attending a college fifteen minutes away from my house, where I live with my now single mother and life is great. And to this day I prey for what I need not for what I want, because preying for what I wanted turned me into a liar and a thief, but preying for what I need keeps me happy no matter where I am, that’s what I believe.