You can’t forgive others until you understand their faults. I never thought I would have a relationship with my dad. I always thought of him as a deadbeat with nothing to offer me or anyone else. It seemed like everyone in my life was telling me horror stories about what an awful person he was. How he was a gay alcoholic on a long road on the highway of life that lead to absolutely no where. For the past eighteen years I have believed the perceptions that other people have had of him and believed that I never wanted anything to do with him. I was an idiot and let what other people said affect my relationship with my father. I never listened to my heart and what it was screaming at me to do.
Deep down I always wanted a relationship to my father. The way I talk about him I’m sure no one would have guessed that, but it is true. I want to find that common ground with him. Recently I have gotten the chance to talk our issues over with him via facebook. I actually spoke for myself and told him exactly how I felt. I told him that everyone thinks I should hate him, while I want nothing but to love him. I told him that I realize he has made more than a few mistakes. I told him I really do care about him even though I don’t act like it. Conversing with him has made me realize that my dad is a genuine person who has made many bad decisions, but is not only dealing with those mistakes, but also trying to fix them. In my eyes it takes a hell of a person to realize what you did was wrong and try to mend those mistakes. A very smart teacher currently told me “It’s not the mistakes that make the person; it is how we deal with them.” My dad and I our slowly, but surely repairing our relationship. I don’t expect us to be best friends by tomorrow. But at least we are making the effort together. I believe in many ideas. I believe everyone makes mistakes. I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I believe in a thing called love. I believe people can change if they want to. These are all good values and morals to have. But the belief that changed my life, the one that got my dad and I talking again was none of the above; it was my strong belief in forgiveness.
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