As my stomach turns I fall to my knees I wonder to my self can this be? What is going to happen now will we stay together or will he leave me like all the other guys leave a teenager in this position? You always think that this wont happen you are being safe its no big deal people do it everyday and yet nothing happens to them why are you different? January Friday the 16 was the day I found out that I was going to be a teenage mother at 17. I remember exactly how I felt what I thought how would my parents react what would other people think of me I am not a slut I have been with the same guy for two years now. So me sister took me to King Soopers to get a pregnancy text. I took the test at the store it came back positive. I just drooped with ashamedness in my body thinking I was going to dye there goes my life. What the hell did I do what was my boyfriend Shawn going to think about being a dad at 20.
So we left the store and went home I got up at 5:30 in the morning to take the other test to see if I really was. I got up to bit my mom to know that way I could have some time to think about what I was going to do. When I took it once again it showed up positive. I called Shawn immediately to tell him. His reaction was just the best he was scared but every supportive of my decision to keep it. When my mom got up around 6:00 6:30 I told her when I told her we sat there and cried together she then told me everything would be all right that we would go to plane parenthood and take another test. And that’s what we did so when we went there and I took once again another one it came back positive so then I knew for sure that I was.
My dads reaction was unexplainable I didn’t even get to tell him my aunt told him. When I got home that night he ask if it were true and I said yes that I was sorry that I didn’t mean to hurt him and that I still loved him. He asked me to get an abortion I told him no because it was my fault for having sex and I knew what could come of it and that I was going to keep my first child. And I was sorry that he was going to be a grandpa at 45 years old but this has happened and I can’t do anything to take it back. He told me that he never wanted to see Shawn again and if he did that he would “ kill him” I knew he didn’t mean it but I was still so scared that they would take him away from me and all I wanted was him to be with me at all times to help me thru what we were going through right now. I didn’t get to see Shawn for like 2 months and it killed me so bad.
When my dad got use to the fact that his youngest daughter was going to have his first grandchild things started to get better but still there will always be hard times. My family is really getting use to the fact that I am going to have a baby and they have accepted Shawn back into their lives. The way this has had an impact on my life is because I know how hard it is going to be extremely difficult to have a baby at 17 and still go to school and find a good job so I can help provide for my family. I also know that when I want to go out and have some fun with my friends or Shawn I will have to find a baby sitter and also figure out how much money we will be able to spend and have money left over for the necessities that are needed to be able to live. I have changed so much since I found out I was pregnant I go to school I don’t ditch anymore I have started saving my money I have found a lot of stuff that will help out in life I also decided not to go to the marines because of this child which I never thought I would do because I always wanted to serve our country, I am going to go to a community college and practice being a pediatrician. Shawn is in the field of oil rigs. And everything has just been amazing. This has really changed my life in negative ways but also a lot more positive ways. I have totally changed my life styles and for the better my boyfriend has just been the best thing to me. In the last 12 years the teenage pregnancy was a low number in the past 2 years it has gone back up. So meaning that the last 2 years teenagers have been pregnant more then an adults. I don’t necessarily believe that it is a bad thing that teens are having babies but I do think that if we were to have more hands on with baby care and finances there would be less amount or even if we were to teach more about sex in school and how to go about getting and doing birth control. Or even the option of not having sex at all. But then again you have peer pressure and other thing that make you feel like you should have sex. It has been a proven fact that teenage girls are now trying to have a baby because they want to piss off their parents and other peoples parents. And at the time the really don’t know what it is like to take care of the baby 24 hours a day 7 days a week. With some help from friends or family but also have a job so you can provide for your child and also go to school. Most teens don’t get their diplomas because they are a mom at 14, 15, 16, or 17. It is too much stress on them to work and find time to spend with there child or even sometimes children.
So at the moment when feeling like I got punched in my stomach and my knees going weak wondering can this be thinking to myself why me. I would never change any thing in the world right now I couldn’t be happier! I have never felt this way in my life. So when people ask why did you decide to do what I have done with my life its because I wouldn’t change it for the world! This has been the most dramatic change and hard but also every stressful memorable thing in my life I am not the same person I use to be I always pay attention to sales or how I am with my cousins the way I have also been in school has changed I am here for 1 thing and that is to get my diploma.
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