Pain is Gain

Amadly - Camden, New Jersey
Entered on May 5, 2009

I believe life’s temporary pain leads to a window of opportunity to achieve permanent gain. Just like a mother goes through labor pains prior to birthing her child, or a butterfly experiencing pain from the cocoon’s pressure before it flies, we all experience pain; however, there is a benefit to it at the end. I have been hurt in life to the point of tears, but I am grateful for each painful moment.

Sitting on the train with my back facing the direction of where the train was heading towards, I watched as all the houses and trees passed by and quickly shrunk into small objects until they eventually disappeared. Riding backwards made me feel as though I was in a time machine traveling back into my past. It was then when I began to think of all the hurt I went through as a child. One moment was when my demented uncle molested me when I was only six years old. His “so-called game” was only a moment of pleasure and satisfaction for him, while I was left as a child statistic, scorned, and stripped of my self-esteem. I will never condone what he did, but I do admit that his deranged act has made me into the strong-willed woman I am today.

Instead of growing to hate the world and live in grief over my hurt, I have grown to love, respect and appreciate my body and life itself. That pain has cut me deeply, but it only left a scar. I see that wound now as a remembrance to always protect and value myself. Like a bone that breaks, but then heals to be stronger than it was before, I too healed to be stronger than ever. That moment gave me a new strength that I never would have reached if it wasn’t for first experiencing it. Of course, the pain was unbearable at first, but the end result was more than rewarding.

I never saw my uncle again, nor did my family. He fled the country without a trace of his whereabouts. Most people would want to seek revenge, but I ask, “Why should I seek revenge to a man who has had a hand in making me the determined woman I am today?” Instead, I would rather confront him and say, “Gracias Tio,” or “Thank you uncle,” as it would be said in English. I am thankful for the fact that his painful act did not cripple me, but better yet, caused me to excel. I am now a strong-willed Hispanic woman with dreams beyond great, stereotypes to break and history to make. I am so thankful that my pain became gain.