The Day I Almost Lost Hope

Amee - Wichita, Kansas
Entered on May 4, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death, family, hope

December 2nd, 2006, a day I will never forget, no matter how much I want to. I was at work when I got the call that changed my entire life; I was told my father was in the hospital in serious condition. As my mouth dropped in utter shock, I became speechless. My head was spinning, and I kept saying to myself “this can’t be happening.” I couldn’t believe that just hours before I was talking to him and now I’m getting a phone call saying that he in the hospital fighting for his life.

I immediately left work and rushed to the hospital to be my father’s side. When I got there the information I got was very little. I kept wondering why God would want to take my father from me, and what I did to deserve this. After hours of waiting we were finally told that there was something wrong with my father’s heart and they were trying everything they could to save his life. At 10:00 that night, the doctor came out and told us that they did everything they could but unfortunately my father had passed away.

After all the praying and all the hope and faith I had this is what happened to me, I lost one of the most important people in my life. My dad lost his life at the age of 42 and there was nothing that I could do about it. The death came out of nowhere, nobody had any idea that this was coming which made it even more difficult to handle. I wanted my dad back, I wanted to tell him that I loved him and that he was the most important person in my life, I wanted to let him know so many things, but unfortunately I never got the chance. What made the entire situation worse was I had just found out that I was pregnant and I never got to tell my father.

I went to church every Sunday, I believed in God, I believed in hope but no matter how much hope and faith I had, nothing was going to bring my father back. I sat alone for days wondering why God took my father from his family and if he did this then there must be no God. Once I got over the initial shock and anger and frustration, I started talking to my family and we started to reminisce about the all the fun times we used to have. I finally realized that everything happens for a reason and even though my dad was taken from me, he was always going to be there looking out for me and watching over me. Life is what you make it and you can’t dwell on the past. I almost lost hope but with the help of my family and friends I made it through. This I believe.