I believe that marriage is for life. When I was twenty years old, I proposed to my wife. We had met when we were sixteen and we lived 2000 miles away from each other. At the time that we met, there was absolutely no prospect of us dating, let alone getting married. However, I also determined at the time we met that she was the girl I was going to marry. As time unfolded, she and I finished high school. I was still living in Pittsburgh while she lived in Boise. We hardly communicated at all and as far as she was concerned, I was just another acquaintance that she had met through a local Bible fellowship in Boise. After my senior year in high school, I visited Boise because I have family that lives here. She took the initiative to show me around the town and introduce me to some of the young people in the fellowship. She didn’t know it at the time, but she made quite the impression on me. I had plans to move to Boise but decided to stay in Pittsburgh one more year before I did. It turned out that the decision was the right one and I had a great last year in Pittsburgh which helped me prepare for the time when I would finally leave home.
I moved to Boise when I was 19. She was going to college and I was working in construction. We ended up living together with 8 other people in a church program called a “Christian Family Home”. I have been told that there are 3 ways to really get to know someone: work with them, live with them, or marry them. We ended up doing all 3. Our year of living together was just tremendous. We did not date or have any kind of romantic relationship. We just became great friends. We really got to know each other. We had the opportunity to see first- hand each others’ strengths, weaknesses, shortcomings, and long suits. We were able to see prayers answered and we also lived with wonderful people that wanted nothing more than to walk with and for the one, true God.
On the day that the Christian Family Home ended, I asked her out. I wasted no time and didn’t sit around and wait until I was sure that she liked me. I even told her that she was the one that I wanted to marry. I think that I freaked her out a bit, but she still dated me. One month later I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We were both well aware that marriage is a huge and serious commitment. We were also both well aware that divorce is absolutely not an option. It is as if we locked ourselves in a relationship and threw away the key. Many people do not throw that key away. Many people keep it in their back pockets, just in case. She and I do believe that marriage is a life time commitment that we cannot back out of, even when times get tough. The bible teaches regarding marriage: “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” It also teaches that the husband is the head of the wife, even to the point where he is willing to give his life for hers. This is a question I asked myself before we got married and I am willing. Though I will probably be written off by many as a religious, right wing wacko, I do believe what the Bible says. We are happily married, and there is no way out.
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