Walking By Faith

Eric - Moscow, Id, 83843, Idaho
Entered on May 4, 2009

I believe that if you walk by faith God will take care of you. For most of my life I had lived care free due to the fact that I had my parents there every step of the way. The day they split shattered my world. My sophomore year in high school marked the beginning of the darkest part of my life. I was left in the dark a midst the darkest of demons in a world of hate, despair, loneliness, and sorrow. My dad soon moved off to California leaving my mother, brother and two sisters to fend for ourselves. I was the only one to leave myself behind to pick up the pieces and put my family back together again. There I was lost in a growing tide as I slowly drowned myself while keeping my family above water. I killed myself, lost in a sea of perpetual hopelessness. Before the divorce was final my mom had been seeing someone, come to find out so had my dad. This led me to question my faith thus launching me into the depth of my own darkness. There I sat amongst angels and demons as the cold steel called my name. Looking down into the black abyss I saw an eternity of hell lost forever in the eternal damnation as my finger slowly lingered around the simple notion of a tap. I was trapped in between two worlds, the heavens cried as hells gate opened wide. I relinquished the gun to my bedside and never looked back. From there on my life was an epic struggle of proportions but I got through it.

Through all this I felt as if my life and everyone that I held dear were torn from my heart. It begged to question who I was, what was going to happen when my world suddenly fell apart? Will I fall amongst the rest and squander in myself misery or will I stand against the burdens that strive to hold me down. For the time being I was exactly where I needed to be in this life, there are no what ifs or plans. We’re never told how to do something or exactly when to do it. For that is the beauty of life, to learn, grow, and prosper within every step and decision. We are made to fall down in order for Jesus to unveil the clouds the devil has so intricately placed in our lives. We walk blindly into the unknown for the solitary purpose of finding who we are. For faith guides the way and shines light into the darkest of nights. Knowing that everything is going to be alright, that where you’re at in life is exactly where you need to be. This I believe that if I walk by faith I will be taken care of.