I am the Only One

Jordan - San Luis Obispo, California
Entered on May 4, 2009

I do not believe that I will find peace if I wait for the universe to dump it on me. It will never fully come, and it certainly won’t last. I refuse to allow the stars to determine my fate. So I won’t wait. After all, what does all this talk of happiness mean, anyway? I guess I’ll have to figure it out for myself!

Where should I begin? All over the world I see groups of people huddled together, joined by location, beliefs, and a myriad of other things. I see large groups, small groups, and not-so-clearly defined groups, all claiming that they posses the holy grail of my search. Should I join one of these groups? Membership sounds somewhat promising, but they all have their unique problems and insecurities. So instead of signing up for a specific set of issues, think I will just throw groups out altogether.

Should I try a strange philosophy? How about the weird existence one? If none of this is really happening, and I don’t truly exist, then I must be happy! This is quite a discovery! I feel so avant-garde with my exciting new outlook. But this new philosophy can only stay fresh for so long. I’ll be sure to have another set of beliefs ready for when the current set goes stale.

This was how I tried to stay happy, and stay upbeat. If I could find a new way to think about the troubles in my life, I could interpret them in a way that was less painful, but the problem was never solved. Everything that I didn’t understand about myself remained a mystery. I have since learned that personal growth as a result of experience gives me a great sense of meaning and happiness.

I believe I am the only man on earth of my kind. There is no other man like me. My opinions and beliefs are derived from the time a scraped my knee on the driveway, and the time when I realized a little help could go a long way. I have my own experiences to learn from, and my own opinions to shape. Oh boy am I happy!

I am a constantly evolving. As I navigate through this life, I am changed by every interaction. I become stronger, more sensitive, and closer to the person I ultimately want to be. I find that I am happiest when I expose myself, and a new experience makes way for a more meaningful version of me.