Walking in Alice in Wonderland’s Shoes

Lauryn - Rapid City, South Dakota
Entered on May 3, 2009
Age Group: Under 18

Writing essays is usually something that I know that I have to do and have to do it with a certain format and not free write like the This I Believe essay. My personal philosophy that I live by is smile when you want to, cry when you need to, and laugh whenever possible. This saying you may have heard before, but it has a lot of meaning behind it for me.

When I first became a middle school student I was thrilled but also a little scared and more than a little intimidated. I had been put in a class that didn’t have any of my close friends in it, just people that were like the street signs that I see every day. I think I was disabled when I came to making new friends and tried to keep in the background and stay out of the way. I still got to see my friends, though we usually had limited time together. We were kind of like a rubber band that was being stretched as sixth grade turned into seventh. My friendships began to wear thin and were replaced by new ones that weren’t as strong.

At I became sad because I didn’t have great friendships. I sometimes cried into my pillows, and I’m sure they were sick of the waterworks. I kept up a cheery feign for my friends and family so that they wouldn’t see how miserable I really was. I kept it all inside the bottle that my body had become. I can now look back on that time and see that I was not being happy often enough, not laughing or smiling enough. My actions were somewhat forced, and my world was like a different place to me. I was Alice trying to make her way back home from a world that was unfamiliar to her, but my Wonderland wasn’t as cool.

I was then officially fed up with myself when I started to look back at my previous journal entries and saw how they were all very non-happy and sullen. Then one day after reading some more entries I noticed some certain words were missing like happy and ecstatic. There were no lasting exclamations of joy and happiness, so I told myself to do something about my mood and attitude. I took my own advice and breathed it in. Finally in the middle of seventh I strengthened my old friendships that were barely there and began to laugh and smile a lot more. This time when I was laughing and smile I was meaning every second of it and was majorly enjoying it.

I had made it home to the place I knew and loved. I discovered a few things while I was drowning. I found that crying was the last resort to something painful and not meant to be used left and right. I also found that laughing is the best remedy to heal you even when you are pretty far gone. So now I always remember to smile when I want to, to cry when I need to, and to laugh whenever I can.