Choices Made Through Pain of Heartbreak

Ariel - Albuquerque, New Mexico
Entered on May 1, 2009

“Oh man, Cori, I’m so nervous about asking Ben to Winterball. I hope he says yes and likes the cookies!!”

“Don’t worry about it Ariel. Everything is going to be okay, just take a few breathers and then call him and see if he’s home.”

Cori and I made some awesome chocolate chip cookies. I put them on a baking sheet and wrote, “Winterball? <3 Doll” on them with blue icing. I dialed the numbers to call Ben. My hands were shaking. As the ringing started, my stomach started turning. I heard the click, and he answered. “Hey are you at home right now?” “No, why?” “Oh, no reason. When will you be home?” “I’m not sure. I’m at Kayleigh’s house.” “Oh… Well I’ll let you go. Buh bye” “Alright… Bye.” Click. I got off the phone and turned around. Cori, Amanda, Adam, Tamara, and Corrine could all tell that something was wrong. “What’s wrong Ariel?!” “Nothing. Let’s just get to Manda’s house.” We got to Amanda’s house and started talking. About an hour later, Ben texted me. I decided to call him, but everyone yelled, “Don’t you dare call Ben!!!” “Hey, why did you decide to call instead of text?” “I thought it would be better to talk about this over the phone instead of over text.” “Oh, alright. So what did you want to ask me?” “Well it’s kind of a surprise. How was Kayleigh’s?” “Good. I think we might be getting back together!” About a minute or two went by and I didn’t say anything to him. “Hey you there?” “Yeah. I just don’t understand, you told me that you weren’t gonna get back together with her because of what she did to you.” “Well yeah I said that, but she said she’s sorry for everything she’s done and she wants another chance, so I’m gonna try it again.” “I see.” “Yeah. I’m so happy.” “Well, I think I’m gonna go. *sniff sniff* I’ll talk to you later or something.” “I’m sorry Ariel, I’ll text you tomorrow. Bye.” “Buh Bye.” Click. “Well there’s no point in asking Ben to Winterball anymore.” I started crying and couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t understand why he was getting back together with her. She’d hurt him so bad and I knew she would end up doing it again. We were kind of together, or at least that’s what I thought. We hung out together, held hands, kissed, did things that most couples do, but I guess he thought differently. “What happened?” “He said he thinks they’re getting back together.” “WHAT?!?!” “I know.” “Do you want us to get Adam and some of his buddies to get beat him up?” “No.” “Why?” “All of you know me, and I’m not like that. I can’t hurt him, no matter what he’s done to hurt me, I just can’t!!” I believe that revenge is a horrible thing. If someone takes revenge, they are just lowering themselves to the person’s level who hurt them originally. When someone hurts me, I return the pain that I’ve received with kindness and love. It shows that, even if you are in the most pain, you still have something in your heart. Sometimes those who have been hurt so much don’t know how to let go of the pain they have. I’ve learned that not everyone hurts you intentionally. Sometimes they have been hurt themselves, and they don’t know how else to respond to the hurt they’ve received. They don’t have a good friend to talk to about it, and they lash out because everyone around them seems to be mean to them. They feel like no one cares about them, even those who say that they’re their friends. Because of this, I try to be at least one person my friends can always talk to about their problems. When Ben hurt me, I tried to look past what had happened, and to be friends with him. I even ended up giving him the cookies I made for him. Things were fine until one day, he told me he never wanted to see, let alone talk to me ever again. I didn’t know what to do. I cried, but didn’t go and take revenge for the pain that he’d caused me.