Where commitment is, Providence Moves

Julia - 19382, Pennsylvania
Entered on April 30, 2009

What is commitment? According to Merriam Webster’s definition, commitment is, “ an act of committing to charge or trust: as an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee, an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled”

(http:www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/commitment).

Recently in my own life, the word commitment keeps coming up. As I was looking though some old e-mails from last semester, I came across one that a professor sent to our class. It was a poem written about commitment saying, “Until you are committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment you definitely commit yourself, then the Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help you that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in your favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which on one could have dreamed would come their way.” This poem really got me thinking about my own life and my relationships with friends, family, boyfriends, and most importantly God.

Over the past few years of my life, I have had a hard time with connecting and committing. It was just recently that God brought this to my attention. Looking back on my life, I can say that there were many struggles in which I faced. When I was three years old my parents got a divorce because my father left my mother for another woman. I know this affected me at the time but I just pushed my feelings under the carpet and moved on with my life. It was not until high school that I started realizing my parents’ divorce and the lack of their own commitment, was indeed affecting my personal life. I began to review my past relationships with my friends, old boyfriends, family, and God. I noticed that I would always move from one person to the other, or distance myself from them. This was due to the fact that I was scared and afraid of losing the important people in my life. I did not want to go through that pain all over again. I became so infested with my own greedy desires that all I could think about was pleasing myself. I was not staying committed to anyone or anything. In the long run all I really ended up doing was hurting myself.

Since I have been at Eastern University, God has stripped me down from all of these things and brought me to my knees. He is teaching me that in order for my life to be pleasing to him, I must commit myself to him first. Therefore, when I chose to recommit my entire self to him, he has blessed me by giving me the desires of my heart, great friends who will challenge me to stay committed to things, and building a stronger relationship with my mother. This year I have learned that if we commit to God, our friends, families, boyfriends, teachers, and neighbors, we will receive love, trust, and a fellowship that is beyond anyone’s’ imagination. This I believe.