Most girls my age are constantly running around searching for a boy to love them the way they want to be loved by a man. They are searching unreservedly for the comfort, shelter, and presence of a man to love them. And I, not long ago, was not so different from these girls. I wanted to be loved just like they did. I didn’t need to be loved for lack of a male presence in my life. I had a father. I just wanted something more. I searched fruitlessly for “the right guy,” the one who would make me whole and build me up. Many came and went, but none had what I truly wanted.
Over time, however, I began to grow, and around about three years ago, I finally fell in love. At last, I found the Man I had been searching for. He was everything. He was gentle, patient, and kind. He had all the love I wanted. He was everything I had prayed for manifested into a Being hardly within my capabilities of understanding. I ran to Him daily. Unlike every other guy I had met, He always knew exactly what I needed. He was always ready when I required him. I didn’t have to worry about anything with Him—He said all He wanted was my heart—and He meant it. He told me of His love for me, that He would do anything for me. Somehow, in spite of all this, I still ran from Him at times. I didn’t believe a love like His could be real, but, as I soon discovered, it was.
I thought I could go it alone, but time proved to me that this Man I loved so deeply was here to stay. I knew that without Him, I was nothing, and with Him, I could conquer the world. In His arms, I saw the way love was meant to be.
As my Beloved and I grew closer, His love changed me. I no longer grew angry at things that made me angry before. I wanted to love others the way He loved me. I wanted to run after Him every day of my life and not look back. I knew this was the kind of forever not even the movies thought to mention. I came to Him for everything, and He told me to cast my cares upon Him, for He cared for me.
Today, my Beloved and I are deeply in love. I still have moments where I fall from His love, but His patience for me is everlasting, and He waits for me to come back when I roam far from Him. And I always do. No matter what, I can’t stay away. I have come far—far from my doubts, insecurities, and my wrongs. I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved is mine. My Beloved’s name is Jesus, and His love saved me. It is because of all this that I can call Him “Abba Father.”
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