I was laying in bed trying to get some sleep but instead I found my mind wandering elsewhere than into my dreams. I was thinking of what type of person and who I will be 10 years from now. I quickly came to the conclusion that I will be “Hank” (that is my name), of course, because that is who I am now and that won’t change. But then I think that that thought is kind of unrealistic. I begin to reason that if I claim to be “Hank” now, which I do, how can I rightfully claim to be Hank in ten years? The only possibility of that happening would be if I were to not change AT ALL from my age now, 17 to my age ten years from now, 27. To think of that as a realistic possibility is kind of an inane thought too. I started to think that the “Hank” now will no longer be around in ten years.
So, when I’m 28, I, “Hank”, will no longer be in existence. The thought is kind of dark when I am laying in bed, alone and I do not know anymore of what to call myself because according to my logic I was really only ever “Hank” when my parents first named me. Unless, I am to think that I have not changed at all from my life as an infant. I do not think that. I wanted my thoughts to be warmer, after all I was trying to sleep. Maybe “Hank” is the name for the whole evolution of my life as a human being. Hmmm… All that this idea brings into my head though is that everybody just has a title for their existence, without that title everybody really is just the same person. Making me the same person as my least favorite politician or artist. The idea of me being no different from anyone else seems more disturbing than my original thoughts and I have a hard time really believing that.
Ok then, so I revert back to my first thoughts. Those ideas seemed a little bit more positive and plus it is really more of what I believe. I decide that I should think of myself as being known as “Hank” and not so much making “Hank” a claim. That does not solve my problem of what I should call the entirity of my existence though; all that solves is me feeling comfortable with being called “Hank”. Then a light bulb goes off in my head.
My existence in this body is “is”. “Is” is not a word but pure matter. Everbody is “is”. But everybody’s “is” has a different name because of the difference in the evolution of their “is”. Therefore all beings are the same and completely different. Everyone is connected in the spiritual world but in the physical world everyone is different and seperate from one another. The thought is not depressing nor uplifting. It is what it is. After my conclusion, I slept.
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