My Way Out

Kayla - New Jersey
Entered on April 29, 2009

I believe in order to express my feelings to full extent I must be silent and dance. People dance for spiritual, social, physical, cultural, intellectual, and emotional reasons. One of the main reasons I dance is to release my emotions. For many years in my adolescence I could not find a way that would allow me to express my emotions. In this period of my life I felt like the world was on my shoulders. My parents would fight all the time, my father was in and out of the hospital, and I was struggling with my faith in God. Going through all these emotions, I was bound by my inability to speak about how I felt in these situations. I remember finally talking to my grandmother about how I felt and asking her why was God doing this to me. Her answer did not seem to comfort me. She told me that God would work it out and to put my faith in him. This was hard to do because I was struggling with my faith in him already. At that point, it seemed like talking about my emotions did not do anything about them. When my mother saw my sorrow and my inability to express it, she had me audition for a modern dance class in Newark New Jersey to keep my mind off my struggles. This company is called the NJPAC. They accepted me, and in two weeks I started my first dance class. It was here that I learned that dance was my way out of the emotional pain I was going through. While I was dancing my instructor told me to go to the front of the studio and dance, so I did. I began to move my body in different positions, holding my arms up, and then putting them down. I danced like I was in fear, without much movement. Then the instructor stopped me and told me to do it again while saying words about how I felt, so I did and this time with less fear. Then she stopped me again and told me to dance again, but instead of saying the words while dancing to just dance the words. I glided across the floor using all my might. With tremendous difference from the first time, it looked like I had no restrictions on my body. At that moment, I discovered that I could release my emotions through my dancing, and take all the pain I was feeling. Now I have the ability to tell how I feel. I just do it through my dancing, and this way I am not afraid. I believe dance can be used as a stress release for anyone. They just have to get up and move.