Should I Tell Her

Thomas - Fremont, California
Entered on April 29, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30

Time moves slowly as I count the minutes until I can see her. Suddenly she appears in front of me and I am speechless. Heart racing, mind boggled, we smile together and talk about our days. Should I take the risk and tell her, I do not know. What would happen if I were to tell her how I feel? Our time is up, she disappears. I tell myself maybe next time.

Maybe she’ll believe that she’s not good enough for me; maybe she’ll feel things are going to fail and weren’t meant to be. Maybe she’ll claim that she’s an average girl with bad habits and that I am wearing rose-tinted glasses whenever I am with her. Maybe she’ll put the blame on herself; she doesn’t want to hurt me.

So she’s an average girl that I see through rose-tinted glasses, but I believe in taking the risk and will take the bad with the good. If she was in a relationship with me would she be the complete stranger she may claim to be and would I not recognize the person I’ve spent so much time with: watching sunsets, playing softball, taking long walks, and the hundreds of conversations and emails we’ve exchanged? During all of those times was she not herself? If that’s not the case, what fears can she possibly have? I believe that she is worth fighting for and that the potential for gaining a new best friend far outweighs the losses that we might encounter. I believe in perseverance and fighting for what one desire in life.

I believe taking risks are necessary to make important steps in life. One can play it safe their entire life just to have it pass them by. Some of our best emotions can only be experienced through the risks one takes. If one isn’t willing to risk what they have for something better, regret is sure to follow.

If I don’t take this risk, nothing will happen, nothing will change. If I don’t take this risk we may remain friends forever, occasionally hanging out together sending each other correspondences but is that what we want? Maybe I’m just selfish, maybe I’m wrong, but that’s a part of life that I believe is sometimes necessary to allow people to be happy.

Time still moves slowly, I see her coming. Chocolates in hand, smile on my face, I again become speechless. I break the silence to tell her how I feel. What she will say or do, I do not know. All I know is that I took the chance and I’m glad I did; I took the chance to be with her.