It was a hot July night and my husband was talking on the phone. I was expecting our second child. Everything seemed to be progressing well. The difference between this pregnancy and my last was that the baby was very low and it put a lot of pressure on my bladder. I started to have small leaking problems as I got bigger. When I questioned the doctor he stated that is was just pressure on my bladder and not to worry. Feeling the pressure I went to the bathroom. With shock and fear I saw blood. I knew this was not normal. The look on my face alerted my husband and he got off the phone. Take me to the hospital now I am bleeding. We gathered our four year old son and headed to the hospital. While on the way to the hospital I felt my baby moving she must have been feeling my stress and fear or telling me she was ok.
When we arrived at the hospital I was rushed to the maternity ward and all the poking and prodding began. Everyone was moving around in a quite professional manor, while my husband and I were clinging to our faith and each other.
The news from the testing was that I had placenta previa and the leaking was not urine but amniotic fluid. The ultra sound showed my baby girl weighed a pound.
I was put on complete bed rest in the hospital. This was 25 weeks into my pregnancy. When I started my second week of bed rest I went into labor. After long consultations with two doctors and a lot of prayer we decided that a C-Section would be the best for both the baby and me because of the high risk of infection.
I was told all the things that could happen and I asked to be awake. The doctor was not to sure about this but I told him it might be the only time I get to see my baby alive.
Dina Marie was born on July 29th 1990. Her weight was 2lbs 6 oz, which surprised everyone. She was 16 inches long and had a head of curly dark hair. She had a little pumpkin face. The best news of all was that she was breathing on her own. I made everyone be quite so I could hear her little cry.
The doctors rushed her off to the Neo-ICU. Hopes were high all around.
After I came out of recovery the nurses brought me into the unit to see my baby girl. I spoke her name and she turned towards my voice. We were all Thanking God for this blessing.
Dina lived for 6 hours after that. The dreaded e-coli infection set in and there was nothing the doctors could do. Hope was lost. My husband, our parents and I had to say good-by to our beautiful baby girl.
I was angry at God. Why, Why did he have to take Dina Marie? As each day passed I got even angrier. Until one night! I was sitting outside looking up at the night sky yelling at God, shaking my fist at him and crying out why, why? When all of a sudden I saw a white dove came floating down from the heavens. As it got closer it got bigger and I started to feel this wonderful peace and calm I had never in my life felt before. A Quite Peace, A Calm Peace, A Holy Peace. When the dove reached me I heard a voice deep and rich speak to me. It said “Pat, be still and know that I am GOD!” The love in that voice, God’s voice filled me with such peace. From that moment, I have been at peace with the loss of Dina Marie and have never cried or grieved again.
There are many other great and wonderful things that happened because of Dina Marie’s birth and death. Many people other than me have been blessed by this baby and she was only here on earth 6 short hours. But that is a whole other article. Be still my friends and you too will hear God’s voice in your time of need…
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