What About Bob? On Love and Marriage

Robert - Weirton, West Virginia
Entered on April 23, 2009
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: hope, love

I am just a gentleman and nice guy who respects women, is faithful, and doesn’t play head games I love kids and I love animals I am not ugly, not handsome either, and I have a good heart, so why am I alone?

Life’s funny in a way. A man loves his independence freedom, and ability to do precisely what he likes and precisely when he wants to, and yet something is missing. Way back in the beginning of this earth God said, “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make for him a helpmeet.” Not a slave, not a servant, not someone to be dominated, not someone to walk behind you, but someone to walk alongside of you, to share life’s journey with. A comforter in difficult times and a fellow celebrant when life is good. Yes there’s sex, but that is a relatively small part of a marriage and it gets smaller the longer you are married ;). J/K Sex is not about meeting primal urges so much as a way to connect on a deeper level once you’ve grown as emotionally close as possible. For me one of the major benefits of marriage is having someone to snuggle up with in bed at night, and someone to wake up to in the morning. You become as it were one another’s haven in a sometimes cruel and inconsiderate world. Sadly, far too many marriages ARE the cruel and inconsiderate world, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I WANT to get married, bring it on I WANT to commit to one person who I will share the rest of my life with. A man no matter if he has everything in the world but has not love, he is naught. All of us but are angels with one wing we need another to be able to fly. Every one of us has our idiosyncrasies. However it is these very things that make life interesting. In some ways it’s like a cosmic joke, women marry men hoping they’ll change and men marry women hoping they won’t. LOL My advice to both is take them as they are, love them as they are, because love is not a feeling so much as a conscious action, a decision, a choice. Falling in love is easy, that’s why it is called “falling”, it takes no effort at all and it serves the purpose of getting you to the altar on an emotional high. Ahh but to BE in love takes effort, and when those mushy gushy feelings start to fade in two or so years, you better have built a strong foundation to continue that relationship. Sadly, many don’t and so they get divorced. When you truly love someone that can never, and does never go away, even if you part, or ARE parted by death or circumstances. To truly love you must love unconditionally. So ask yourself, LADIES, when you are proposed to, if he remains just as he is and never changes are you going to be happy with that? Men sometimes do change and the love of a good woman can accomplish much, and at times it has. Usually though they don’t change. Us men are funny that way. And guys before you propose ask yourself the same question. Most women are not like Sophia Loren who still looks great at 60 something, appearances can and do change over the years, sometimes better, more often for the worst. If you love a woman for her heart and mind and spirit, barring a major psychological trauma, that will remain the same, a constant over the decades. To both men and women alike I say, if you are looking for the perfect person you are liable to be single the rest of your life. You decide whether the good outweighs the bad. No ones perfect though looking through the eyes of love they may seem that way. I may be alone the rest of my life and I have resigned myself to that fact. Some folks would be perfectly content with that. Not me, I love my freedoms but I’d give it up in a heartbeat for someone to snuggle with at night, to eat out with, to cook for, to cherish, and to love. I feel somehow incomplete and somewhere out there, I hope, is the woman who will complete me, to enable me to be the best ME I can be, who complements my strengths and shores up my weaknesses, and vice versa. It was Samuel Clemons who said ” After a woman there is nothing so necessary to the comfort of a man as a dog” I agree, AFTER a woman, that is the key. Have a blessed day.