We live for our rights

Briana - Las Cruces, New Mexico
Entered on April 22, 2009

I believe that everyone has their own rights. Some we may not like, but it’s their right. I am thirteen. I’m an ex-cutter and bisexual. Most people would think ‘Oh, you’re not bisexual; you’re just going through a phase.’ I’m not. I like all people and it doesn’t matter what their sex is. Everyone who knew me was surprised when I told them I was bisexual in the beginning of seventh grade. I had hidden it for four years, later some of my friends confessed that they were bisexual too. I wasn’t sure if I should tell my family. Only one person in my family knows, and she is six years old. Everyone who knows has accepted me and doesn’t give me much trouble.

My favorite literature teacher came in and sat us down a few months ago. She told us that the other day she heard a kid in class call another kid ‘gay’. I was getting a little irritated. Why? Why is it that I still have to live in fear because of my sexual orientation? We then had to learn about the hate crimes committed to homosexuals for two weeks. I called those two weeks our ‘gay weeks.’ For once I was learning about myself.

The next day I told my mom about it. She said she didn’t really care much what other people did with their love lives. So here I thought, “Finally! I can tell her I’m bisexual!” I told her that I had a few bisexual friends. As soon as I said that she said, “There is no such thing as bisexuality! They’re just trying to shock their parents!” I stayed silent. She continued, “All they want is sex!”

In my mind I wanted to scream. I’m not trying to shock anyone. I don’t really just want sex. I want a person who will love me, physically, emotionally, mentally any good way there is to love a person. I’ve found people who I feel that way about. I would die to protect them.

Perhaps writing this essay is the only way my mother will understand. My love for boys and girls is not because I’m confused or full of lust, like some teenage girls. It is purely of love for their personalities. That’s what I look for in a person, a personality that I like. If I end up back at counseling again for this, then I’m glad because it will have made me at least one step closer to my mother, even if I first took one step back.

I believe that we all have our own rights and my right is with who I fall in love with. I hope that someday my mother can see what I am and not feel as if I’m just doing this to scare her. I don’t want to scare her again. I hope other parents will understand if this happens to their children.