I believe that you should hold onto your friends for as long as possible. You never know when someone “new” might come around and take that away from you. Or in my case, when certain people keep you from doing that. For as long as I could remember, it was always hard for me to have friends and be able to keep them. My mom would always ask, “Why don’t you hang-out with so-and-so anymore?” I would always reply, “Because you never let me.”
It was difficult growing up in a Filipino family with strict parents. They would always encourage us to be outgoing, talk with other people, and socialize. Problem is, they deprived that from me and my sister by not letting us go out with our friends. Every new week at school, I would see my “school” friends talking about their weekends and how fun it was when they hung out together. I have to admit, it made me a little sad inside. I envied that joy: that happiness feeling you get when other people of common interests bond together.
At that moment, it occurred to me that even though I still considered them as my friends, it didn’t feel like it had meaning anymore.
It just felt like a word.
This year at school, I still have a hard time coping with the fact that high school really does tests friendships and can make or break them. One of the first people I became friends with in middle school when I arrived to Antioch is still my friend after four years but things have changed; Now that we’ve decided to take up new things, we hardly see each other at school anymore and seems as though she talks frequently with her “new” friends rather than hanging around an old rag doll like me.
As I walk through the hallways at school, and even when I’m in a class with absolutely no one I know or talk to, I stay quiet. I do that because it’s what I do best but, surely, that’s not what I want to be known for the rest of my high school career.
I believe change is for the better of me.
I want to be able to talk comfortably with new people and have a high self-esteem every day when I walk through those school doors. I want to be able to relate to people so that I’m not left-out on anything or end up standing in a corner by myself. I want to be reincarnated into Romelle, version 2.0 because for this, I truly believe change will help me obtain the happy life I’ve always wanted but never risked to get it.
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